REVENGE

They say the best revenge is living well,

I say it’s acid in the face—who will love them now?

I’m going to get even, I swear I will,

Mark my words, I’m a pregnant cranky woman with insomnia,

I have time to plot my revenge,

I was performing my ritual of sipping tea, shooting flirtatious glances and planning murder.

My former bullies pay extra to come backstage and meet me after shows,

I pretend not to know them in front of their friends,

It is the most divine pleasure to exact the revenge of the brutalized child that resides within,

Revenge is a confession of pain.

But if there is any further injury,

Then you shall appoint as a penalty life for life,

Eye for eye,

Tooth for tooth,

Hand for hand,

Foot for foot,

Burn for burn,

Wound for wound,

Bruise for bruise.

Treat all fairly or they will seek revenge,

‘Tis more noble to forgive, and more manly to despise,

Than to revenge an injury,

An eye for an eye will only make the whole world blind.

I am a fighter,

I believe in the eye-for-an-eye business,

I am no cheek turner,

I got no respect for a man who won’t hit back,

You kill my dog,

You better hide your cat,

An eye for an eye is never enough, Never, never, never.

While seeking revenge, dig two graves—one for yourself,

So revenge is obviously a deeply messed-up expression of vindictiveness,

It is hard to even call it evil,

It is just plain insanity,

A result of deeply messed-up thinking.

Revenge proves its own executioner,

Not forgiving is like drinking rat poison,

Then waiting for the rat to die.

In taking revenge, a man is but even with his enemy,

But in passing it over, he is superior,

We should forgive our enemies,

But not before they are hanged,

Gorgeous hair is the best revenge.

It is impossible to suffer without making someone pay for it,

Every complaint already contains revenge,

Men should be either treated generously or destroyed,

Because they take revenge for slight injuries—for heavy ones they cannot,

Revenge may be wicked, but it’s natural.