THE BIRTHDAY SONG

May you live as long as you want,

And never want as long as you live,

They say it's your birthday,

We're gonna have a good time,

I'm glad it's your birthday,

Happy birthday to you.

The best way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once,

When a man has a birthday,

He takes a day off,

When a woman has a birthday, 

She takes at least three years off.

All the world's a stage, and all the men and women merely players,

They have their exits and entrances,

And one man in his time plays many parts.

You've heard of the three ages of man—youth, age, and you are looking wonderful.

A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday,

There is no cure for birth and death save to enjoy the interval. 

I don't pay attention to the number of birthdays,

It's weird when I say I'm 53,

It just is crazy that I'm 53.

I think I'm very immature,

I feel like a kid,

That's why my back goes out all the time,

Because I completely forget I can't do certain things anymore–like doing the plank for 10 minutes.

Life seems to fade our memory,

So on this birthday I will forget yours if you forget mine,

And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make,

I wish people would stop talking about my birthday,

Every year on your birthday, you get a chance to start new.