You And Me

Nine months is quite a big duration

To bond with each other

Hearing to what was going around

Feeling the emotions and the warmth

We shared the same womb.

As I came out of the tummy

My umbilical cord was first cut

From you and mom I was separated

Well before you, my journey in the outside world began

And within thirteen minutes yours.

Sharing the same cradle for months

I never knew that we were two

Even as we grew up into toddlers

We were just one individual

And our names were never called out separately.

Sharing the same bed for years

We shared the books, the toys, and even friends

We dressed alike

I wore red, you blue, always

And the haircut, the hairdo was the same too.

You were my other half

So was I for you

We completed each other perfectly

We stole the adorable stares of the people around

And it always ended us up with pride.

Giving a classical form of performances, always duet

We won accolades, became the talk of the town

The Twin sisters, we were always addressed

Identified by the passers-by with approving smiles

And we flaunted our thick long braided hair.

You an inch taller than me

A shade brighter than me

A little leaner than me

Always scored more than me

And you were all praises and me unnoticed.

I, a foodie and you the opposite

I, a fun loving and jovial while you a grumpy one most of the time

I never had secrets while you always had one

Not about boys or some wrongdoings

It was about your preparation for the exam.

I neither studied nor did my homework

While you were always ready to head on with pre-preparation

For the day ahead in the class and exams

While I always waited for the last moment preparation

That always would be uncompleted.

You passed your answer sheets to me

I copied just to get the passing score

You were the pride of our parents

While I was made to feel that I never would rise up

From the fall. A deep fall rather.

The textbooks were yours when we had one old set

Borrowed from friends, the compass box too

It was all yours only up until new ones arrived

The old ones were passed on to me

For I was the one who brought distress.

But nothing mattered to me, to you, to us

Because we were not two

You packed my bag sometimes

While I loved combing your curly hair opposite to my straight strands

And years just rolled by.

The bond weaved strong and firm

We became the best of friends

Shared our problems, most common

About mom and dad’s fights

Soothed, supported, motivated each other.

Plans for every little action were in places

For breakfast, for co-curricular activities

For homework, for chores and academics

Subtle yet strong signals and gestures we exchanged often

Were worth a thousand words and emotions.

But deep within, with the passing years

It took us a bit too late to fathom that

we were two different individuals

Who ought to live two different lives

And there came a realization, we were poles apart.

As fate would have it

We parted ways when we were twenty

To begin a new beginning of our individuality

I remained where I was, but you were on your career ladder

Your life happening with new events.

The loss I felt at your absence

So much less of who I am being beyond description

I believe you too must have undergone the same

Yet, suffice to say, your life was yours and mine was mine

And on went our journey of making our identities.

It took me years to bridge the gap I created

Knowingly or unknowingly, about my career, my life

‘You are the eldest among the two, so you should be tolerant.’

The knowledge imbibed in me ever since my childhood suddenly toppled

I became the second child when your marriage was settled.

The turbulence, the confusion, and the sudden change

I did not bother much about

But it always sneaked a peep every now and then

Only to make me realize that I had to be a little serious in my life

The damages caused were all beyond repair.

Destiny kept intervening

My fate followed yours

First, a government job what our parents believed was prestigious

You joined the prestigious State Bank of India

And a year later I.

The marriage settlement followed

First yours and then mine,

Then the marriage, first yours and then mine

A coincidence again, we married guys who had an elder sister

And both the respective sisters had one son each.

And then came the kids

You delivered one and then it was my turn

Again, after four years, you delivered your second child

I followed suit. The simple reason I reasoned

We shared the same horoscope too.

But life went on, the gap was now prominent

In the happenings of our respective lives

Out I pulled myself with all my might

From the clutches of comparative standards

And there, I stood out unique, for none but myself.

Amidst the similarity of situations, we shared

There was one unpredictability looming tall

The one that would take our lifetime struggle

It was, is and will be a lonesome battle for both

Yours, visible and mine invisible.

Being a few minutes elder to you

I take the liberty in pointing out the reality

Based on my experiences of life,

It’s none that comes to our rescue

Instead we have to stand by our own side.

The near and dear ones may sympathize

Or empathize and come up with advice

But it’s only we who must decide

About the course of actions and solutions

For, it is our life.

To emerge, courage and acceptance

The two elements are requisites to fight off the odds

Tough though, it is worth the try

Expectations are what drifts us away from our own people

From our own selves too.

You like it or not, you take it or not

As you once were a part of me, I feel the need to mention

Being twin is what we have been endowed with

And share the same instincts and seemingly telepathic qualities

So, let us fulfill HIS masterly plans and make life meaningful.

With our respective prevailing situations

Duties abound, we are lost and have drifted away too far

Never to cross our paths ever again

Even if there arises a demanding situation

We play well to keep our cursory exchanges limited.

Suppression leading to dissent, subtle ego playing its roles

Expressions turning into arguments

Leaving us cold, detached and insensitive, is untying the bond we share

So, letting go of the hem that lies tangled in our hold

Is the only option, for we are left with life not long enough.