Are You Grown Or What?

Are you grown or what? This is my question to a lot of my friends, because I really don't get it, especially when most of us are going into the second half of our lives. 

The need to please is done for me. I realized that when I turned 40.

I was done trying to make everyone else happy at my expense. Yet, ten years later, there are still people I know struggling with this disease. They are worried about what their parents are going to think or say, really? They can't do this or that because their parents might get mad or disapprove? How old are you? Who pays your bills? 

Look, I get they are your parents, but this is your life, and you only get one. You have to live it your way, with your mistakes and your failures, this is how you learn and grow. So many people worry about what the world sees, what people will think about you? I lived that lie for 24 years, as my ex was always so worried about what the world thought. We had to be "on" and perfect all the time, and trust me, it was exhausting.

Look, we all make mistakes. We all fall down. We all at one time or another look stupid or do stupid things, but this is how we learn from our mistakes. We are human, and it is okay to fail because failure makes us stronger. 

People ask me all the time, how do I put my whole life out here for the world to see? I am human, and I am not perfect by any means. 

I want everyone to see themselves in me in this blog. That includes when I fall, when I fail, when I cry, when I am not so positive, when I don't think I have the strength to go on. Why? Because we all feel these things, we are all human, this is a part of everyone's lives whether they want to admit it or not. I just have the guts to put it out there so that other people may realize that they are not alone and that if I can get through it, you, too, can get through it.

You must remember that you can't please everyone, it is not possible. God knows I tried for years. You have to be happy within yourself. You have to be the best "you," you can be. You have to forgive yourself for your failures and learn the lesson from your mistakes and be able to move on.

Your parents lived their lives. It's time to live yours. Those neighbors you're trying to impress, you have no idea what goes on behind their doors. That put-together person that comes to church every Sunday has so many dark secrets and demons eating them up inside. Everyone has their issues, you don't see.

Yet you're trying to please these people. To look and be a certain way yet not be able to acknowledge that none of us is perfect. It is killing you to keep this up, and trust me, it's killing them as well.

So today my friends remember, this life you have is not a dress rehearsal, it is the real thing!

Get over your disease, "The need to please." Cure yourself, set yourself free, because it's showtime baby, right here, and right now, your life is waiting for you.

"Be the change you want to see,"