Bloom

"it's dark outside."

I know she is looking at my back but I was ignoring her.

"it's cold outside..."

before she said it again I enter in her hut.

it was small but beautiful. I was avoiding her. I know she is looking at me. I know she is curious about me. there’s a thing about her eye that attracts me. I don't know why it's hard to stay away from dark things.

those black big eyes carry pain, lies, truth, and god knows what...

it's better if I can avoid eye contact.

she smells like lavender. her smile is like sun melting into the twilight her. hairs were wavy and now look at me I'm full of scars some of them are so visible making her wonder.

"you.." she stopped. maybe because it's hard to predict me.

"what is your name? and.." she broke the silence again.

"I'm zeeya...and..and i ..and what is your name?"

" Zeeya, I'm Noor."

"Noor." 

"thank you, Noor, you let me in."

 "it's my pleasure Zeeya." it's so weird to hear your name from a stranger's voice.

her eyes, they were reaching my soul.they have stories and sins. I

don't want to hear them. my heart is not capable to take her pain.

I'm already full of it. she came closer to me. noticing my face. her hand almost reached my face and I stopped her. I look so rude. her hand. I touched her. I can feel her. "oh girl what hell you saw in your life"

her touch was so peaceful. at the same time, I felt the pain.her pain. Before it reaches my heart I throw her hand away.

I need to go now. I cannot take anyone's pain anymore.

I cannot. “I’m leaving"I said to her without looking at her.

"what? why"

"I'm not bound to answer you"

"But... it's cold outside...you'll freeze to death"

"don't worry. death doesn't want me. I have tried to hug her many times"

"what do you mean?"

I took my bag which was small and old. I got that from a middle-aged woman where I stayed before I came here.

"don't"

she holds my hand again. this time her pain does not take much time to reach me. to reach my soul. It’s under my skin now. I cannot resist it. I pushed her away. my heart throbbed so painfully.

"do not touch me?" I yelled at her.

I made her jump in fear.

"princes must not behave in this way." a voice in my head was so loud I almost fear that my mother is shouting on me.

I shook my head.

"I'm sorry"

"it's alright"

"no, I'm not saying to you"

she looked at me surprisingly.

I know I sound strange and cruel.

"Okay. Sorry...I'm sorry "

this time she looked at me with suspicious eyes

I guess she was thinking I'm a mad person or what?

"really"

"yes. I'll stay for the night"

I put my bag down. after that, silence followed for a long time.

we ate food without sharing a word.I saw her looking at an old photograph. a couple staring back.

I don't know why these people need photographs. why we need to capture everything when we can store them here in our hearts.

whenever I close my eyes I can see my world the sun with hope.

a voice of the river. Singing with the birds. I can smell the trees and the flowers. I can hear my mother's voice. I can feel her warm arms around me. my father and my brother...

I looked at her she was sleeping. it looks like moon resting on night's lap.

God knows why it attracts me. what attracts me more is the other part of the moon which is hidden in the dark. the other face.

I get close to her she was in deep sleep. for a moment I lost my self. I never thought someone can make you feel this way. that you might forget that who you are? it took quite a time to come into my senses.

I took my place again. thinking about that moment and she awoke.

her eyes were small and red now. 

"what happened?"

"a nightmare. it was really bad." her

eyes were full of tear 

"come here."

I can not believe in my voice

"it's alright. they are just dreams. they don't have any ability to hurt you."

she took moment and then came closer to me.

"here on my lap."

"do not cry. " she was on my laps. wanting to soothe her was the last thing I ever want to do. but here I am again. if I can take her pain..no .. no... I cant..may be for last time... no no...i must focus on something else as mother said.."fight.do not take anyone's pain "

I wiped her tears.

"you know how it feels?"

"yes.i know it feels to miss someone so badly"

"All I want is to empty my heart and..." her tears finding their ways again.

"Noor...does not wish to feel empty. emptiness is the worse feeling you will ever feel. emptiness is like death. dark and silent. no flower ever blooms in darkness."

"a flower?"

"yes..'hope'...is a flower which belongs to the life"

"I was six when my parents..."

don't please don't tell me.her hands holding my arms so tightly 

her pain reached my heart.

" They killed my parents in front of me"

i can not take her pain.i closed my eyes and hold her hand. I can see little Noor hiding under the bed. she was afraid of darkness and want

her mother to comfort her. she were crying and crying.

I opened my eyes. "sacrifices makes you strong and even more strong when you do it for your loved ones."

I touched her head try to comfort her. soothe her.

"sleep, Noor. the world is a bad place for who shows their weakness."

I made her sleep.i cannot wish you to be empty, I promise you'll never have any nightmares.

I closed my eyes and I saw little Noor hiding and crying.

i offer my hand to hold. her little eyes were finding her mother.

"it's alright Noor. come here I'll tell you a story"

and i hug her. I know all she needs is warmth. i took her in my arms. take her far far away from the dankness.

i open my eyes and relies my nose were bleeding .

i don't have strength to bear her on laps.

i noticed, she was smiling. her smile gave me a strength to stands on my feet.this is me. there is no way to going back to that place where a son can kill his mother. i burn that rode to the ash. even i can not stay here. without making any noise i took my small old bag , unbearable pain in heart . i left in silence. if anyone need an healer.