Memories

I sat beside him, he was just lying staring at the roof. I know none of my words would be making any sense to him. Would it be like the voice rain made on the roof tiles and wind howling ,when I first met him. 

I did not want him to remember me ,I felt I would be there in his mind even when the last memory is fading and failing.

I still told him ,it was that deep blue sky that slowly changed in to orange red and then the night which followed, he kissed me fervently under the stars ,  the great sea witnessing our love  ,that holds very many  secrets in its deep bosom. 

Today he has changed so do I ,but I want him to hear my voice .His voice was husky and seducing. It was like the mischievous wind fondling with the leaves .And the way he touched me I felt like the cherry blossoms in spring. He made me feel always  I am the celestial nymph.

When we had our small house it was just a one room. It was the wooden storage place of the house owner and the city in those days were not so lucrative and luscious with IT hubs and people .Common people could just survive, like us instructors .

The day he brought an old tape recorder for me was a rainy day which flooded the roads and he walked through the road in almost dirty puddles to get it .Since then they played the song" dil hum hum kare ".

I kept on talking .Hunger ,scarcity no fancy life nothing bothered him nor me .We shared a beautiful world and it could  be a heaven or a speck of it.

We were like seasons it is cyclic .The beginning and end and then another beginning .I lay on his chest years later and looked at the stars above the hills over the temple .

We were just same not an ounce less .

If love was a mistake then it is his and mine .But who decides it. In a world of hatred and selfish pursuits to surrender ,support being there are all just words, jargons...

But now he lay there ,I used to walk miles to fetch him lunch when he could not afford it ,when hunger sting me in classes his smile was my solace .Oh, he was my poison and relief .It has all  submerged in his unconscious minds chambers now

When he walked away once  he never told he is going to be back in my life irresistibly  and hence I felt he is going to know me ..for now to in this state of dementia ...I believe 

He would see us walking down the lanes Where red flowers made different patterns and our body rubbed against each other in deep passion or may be he will remember the way we spent hours in the thunder storm ,lost in each other's arm ,with lightening flashing all around.

His heart would know my vibes .I gently caressed his forehead .The grey hairs ,the wide contour if it.

While I walked back in to my journey where I have no past and no more future ..I offered him to the universe with deep gratitude. 

It was nothing harder like letting go. But .

He live and shall in my poems and books ,but the way I forgot to live creating it did not bother me. I was destiny's child and he was a sort of fate... Memories, his memories ..no I never wanted to fit in. I never did too.