On death

Is death a final word. A completion. A full stop. I never thought I would one day really try to put an end to myself. I wanted to make my suffering go away. The panic and anxiety tormenting my soul.... she told me so.

I was sitting beside her listening keenly. She was tired and her lips quivered when she spoke.

Death was never new to me. I have learned to look in to its eyes and stare.

Death might be a true love Who is sure to come one day. Take me in his strong arms and carry me away from this crowd. There is no betrayal. She interrupted me with her words.

I met Death for first time at my mother's funeral. She lay there on the cold floor on a plantain leaf. Not responding to me calling her relentlessly.Since then I felt Death had a significant fragrance a stench...

I experienced it each time when I was with a snake bite victim or when when I cared for some one trying revolt the banking system and unemployment by drinking pesticide.  

Death loomed in the corridors of the hospitals. Death was an intruder when the girl with burns left her   gang raped body 

I used to tell my love his white coat smelled of same Death while he tried to kiss me.

Here I was near her ,my only friend who tried to bring about spring in to her painful life by entering in to a fateful relationship lethal than death. She now has come back walking half way...

My preceptor at college ended her life just after giving her exams. she was a good friend ,a girl with dreams in her heart.. but I still do not know why she carried put such act on her. When I used to be upset at the beginning of college days she used to show me glow worms a million of them in the forest behind hostel. It made my nights hopeful. But she adored Death. Death was an irony to me. A truth unpleasant. Deep down in me I used to think.. I am never going in to walk in to it ,how ever life could jeopardize me. But I strangely thought it as a solution too, a stupidity 

My friend was she relieved that she outlived Death or was she upset that her journey was interfered. She wanted to be a star on the dark sky. She wanted love and it was the hardest thing to ask for.

Death... seemed a reality harsh inevitable. The pandemic showed how easy it was to get wiped in time line... Death I do not know still a friend or foe.