Rani, A Pawn Or A Queen

A resounding slap went through the halls of the Chalanta house. 

"Who do you think you are?! Talking to me in such a disrespectful manner, you should be glad that you even have a place to sleep!"

Rannav huffed and turned his head away in disgust. To think that the woman lying pathetically at his feet was his wife! A shame indeed. These kinds of women were the reason for indiscipline and chaos in the house. 

Mr Chalanta, it seems as though your business isn't going too well... 

No matter! Even with your .... skills, I think you're plenty capable of handling such matters haha!

Rannav clenched his hands to stop himself from smashing the nearby glass vase. How dare those arrogant creatures to look down upon him?! If those insects would gather up all their wealth and connections, it still wouldn't amount to even one-fourth of the Chalanta household's assets.

Master, you seem to be in a bad mood today. Would you like me to get some tea for you?

Bad mood? So his wife thought that it was alright to make fun of his ruined business? The very source of income of the house, his job as a government official; did she think that it was funny? Did she think that the job was easy and that she could do it better than him?

Now even his wife dared to look down at him?

Rannav kicked the body of the woman who hadn't gotten up after being slapped.

She stayed there. Eyes cast sideways, arms bracing her stomach, knees to her chest, and lying still on the ground. She did not flinch. Her expression didn't change. He felt deep-rooted disgust crawl up his throat and resisted the urge to spit.

"Take her away," he snarled at the servants.

Once the woman was taken away, he took a deep breath.

He refused to succumb to the taunts and provocations of the ministers. He was going to be greater than any of them and they would regret ever underestimating him.

The carpet had been such a beautiful shade of red. It had been bought from one of the skilled weavers in the area. The embroidery done on it was in no sense inferior to that of the designs made on the dresses of the princesses. It had been very expensive, of course, but Rani couldn't restrain herself from buying it. The colour had stolen her heart. It was rich and heavy, very much unlike the red powder in her dressing room. It matched with the peachy colour of the walls and brought out the royalty of their house. 

It made her feel respected, aloof, and worthy. Worthy of stepping on an expensive carpet such as this. 

Now, as she curled up against it, it felt soft and comforting in a way that she had never known. It reminded her of her mother and her gentle hands carding through her hair, holding her dear; a time has so long gone, the story so old, she was almost convinced she had made it up from the depths of her imagination. She felt the lush red beneath her fingers and decided it felt like fur.

She hadn't felt fur a lot, but once while scouring through the shops, she had bumped into a man with a fur coat. It was a fleeting touch, but the material was so soft, it had mesmerized her. Before she could have apologized to the man or inquired about his coat, however, he had dissolved into the crowd. She found out much later, through her servants the name of the cloth.

She felt herself giving in to sleep, but her cheek stung. She forced herself awake. If she didn't treat it soon, it would swell. Her husband wouldn't like that. It would make a rather ugly sight after all. 

Rani sat in front of the mirror and carefully unpinned the flowers from her hair. They were just as fresh and yellow they were when she put them on a few hours ago. If she wanted to see them turn brown, she'd have to wait. 

Rani didn't bother watching the petals spiral down her window.

She was wandering in the marketplace, feeling fabrics, absorbing colours, and waiting. Looking at children, holding baubles and furniture, and waiting. Picking up a comb, then a brooch. And waiting. And waiting. And waiting.

The itch inside of her became unbearable. She sighed and turned back abruptly. She wasn't enjoying this. 

"Take me back," she told her maid. She scrambled to direct her.

Rani kept her eyes on the crowd. Their empty faces. Their happy smiles. Laughter and argument and whispers and shouts. The marketplace was always full of emotion and happening. Full of something that looked so easy to get but was so far out of her reach.

Rani stopped a whisper of maybe sinking into her skin.

What if she just disappeared?

"Hey!"

Rani turned to the voice. A girl wearing brown bead necklaces and clinking bangles was waving a hand in front of her face.

"Give me your hand."

Rani was confused but did what she was told.

The girl looked at the lines of her hand and traced them like they were meaningless. Rani was tempted to snatch her hand back. But the girl looked right at her.

"Listen to me. You need to stop running away from your problems. It's not too late yet."

Rani felt something bubble up within her. She swallowed it down. She backed away. The girl held on tighter. "What are you talking about?"

"It's your partner. Your husband. He-"

Rani took back her hand and made her way through the crowd. Her maid had lost her, but it was no matter. She already remembered the way back to her carriage.

"No, wait! This is important-"

If her maid was still there, Rani would apologize to her for lagging behind and causing trouble. The poor girl must've been searching around for her for quite some time. 

"Listen to me!"

"Listen to me!"

Rani dragged her eyes across the beautiful marble tables and polished wood before they landed on Rannav. What did she have to listen to?

What else was there to say?

"God, you annoy me so much."

She heard the slap before she felt it. The sting of it was grounding, and the weight of it sent her stumbling to the side. She unconsciously checked her mouth for blood. There was none. Her mood dipped. On the other hand, at least her cheek was smarting; it was bound to bruise. It would mean that she had enough blood in her to bruise. Enough life in her to hurt. Maybe that's what she was waiting for. Proof. Maybe after, she would stop waiting.

Rannav was still screaming.

"...all your fault! I come home tired and hungry and you don't even bother to show me your face? What, do you think you're too good to be with me? I'll get you off your high horse...."

Rani remembered the time she had greeted him after work. The sky was overcast, and the winds, jittery. She spotted Rannav and went to curtsey. And then the world slipped off its axis. She woke up to two broken ribs and memories of garbled curses. How dare you show me your filthy face.... This is all your fault... if you weren't there...!!

It was the first and the last time she had done that. She was quick to learn from her mistakes. What she didn't do, was run away. 

Rani did not know why she was still thinking about that girl from the street. She was surprised at the anger that was directed to her. Why did she even care about what a stranger said? 

Because she knew nothing about her. That girl didn't know her and acted as though she did. And accused her of running away? 

Just who did she think she was?

And why did Rani feel like she had finally found the thing she had been waiting for? 

Never mind that.

She wasn't running away. She was staying there. Grounding her teeth. Forcing her eyes away. Rooting her feet. If she wanted to run, she could have. She had assets and money stored away for herself. She could go away.

But Rannav loved her. He did. And she knew that. So she wasn't running away.

She wasn't running away. 

*

Wait...Listen

Wait-

Listen to me!

Rani woke up, hands clutched fearfully in her silk sheets. She blinked the voice away and willed her heart to slow. Her hands were sweaty. The bed was cold. It was still night. Her jaw hurt. Someone was knocking on the door.

Oh. Right. She knew who was at the door.

"Come in"

Rannav stepped in, head bowed in apology. Rani knew what he would say. It didn't matter. He couldn't help it. He loved her. It was just that he wasn't in the best of moods Or that it was a bad day. Or it was really her fault, and that she should have been more careful. 

It's your husband.

Was it? Was it really not her fault? No. She couldn't believe that. Because believing it would mean-

Believing that would mean he didn't love her. And she didn't love him.

Don't run away.

Was this what she had been running away from? Facing her problems? Accepting the lie she had woven herself into?

Was she allowed to break free?

"....so sorry, but it was really all your doing. Do you know how many rumours..."

Something inside her come undone. Rani was allowed to break free. She thought of a world beyond her. A giddiness overcame her. What couldn't she do? Why did she have to live like this?

When did she forget her life was her own?

Something so out of reach was on her fingertips. Happiness. She hated waiting, but this made it all worth it. This changed everything. This meant being born anew. She could buy rich fabric and fur cloth and little trinkets or paper fans, and no one would follow her. No one would stop her.

"Rannav," she interrupted. He looked at her expectantly, as though waiting for something (an apology). "I want a divorce."