So Close Yet So Distant

"Why do you let him hurt you?"

.

Because he makes everything in this goddamn world look like a happy place. I feel a little less lonely when I'm with him. I am in love with him and there is nothing I can do about it. He keeps me away from What Ifs and Maybes.

I've loved him all through my grumpy mornings and abandoned nights. When I am wasted or when sobriety hits me. We're different from each other, but we click and fall together in some places.

No, don't tell me that he doesn't deserve my love only because he never looked at me with love, held my hand with gentleness, or stole a glance when I looked away. I cannot force him to love me. We make our choices in love- being with the one who matches our crazy. And I'm not sure if I'll ever not be crazy around him especially when I'm innocently in love with him. To love him is like standing in chaos and listening to music, knowing it all will be okay.

I'll let him break my heart in a heartbeat to have that privilege of having him so close to my heart, yet so distant.