Stranger In The Mirror

Dear Stranger in the Mirror,

Wasn’t it just yesterday, when I had been there, behind this glass shield that separates us? How can I disappear in a matter of moments, only to be replaced by you? Who are you, oh, familiar stranger?

You have my eyes but my eyes have never been bedecked with so many beautiful layers of mascara, before. They have never glittered so much with the excitement of expectations and dreams. Never before have they mirrored the happiness I feel, like this!

You have lips that curve exactly like mine, when I smile. Except I have never worn this shade of red gloss on them, before. They seem more confident, now, when they part, no longer hiding behind the subtle peaches and pinks of my college days.

You have a nose that is as huge and as misshapen as mine, but, it is now adorned with a glistening nose pin carved in gold.

Your forehead is as broad as mine was, but it sports a vermillion mark. The unkempt fringes of hair no longer disturb the perfectly placed round of my crimson bindi. The black of my hair is tied in a neat bun, to rest with dignity at the back of my head, where it belongs.

Your arms, as long as mine, are covered till elbows, and the alternating red and white of the chooda bangles never fails to jingle when I move.

We intersect, stranger, and pieces of me seem better now that you share them, too.

I wonder where the vagabond I used to be, has gone, dear stranger!

Perhaps it got lost too when my torn jeans and tight T shirts were lost in the meticulous folds of my Kanjeevaram; or when I had to give up my tattoos in exchange of the mehendi that swirled and coloured my hands and wrists a deep, delicious henna.

Or maybe it never was me, in the first place. Maybe I always wanted the security, the comfort, the belonging that comes with being like you. Maybe I always wished for the stability that marriage would bring and the joy his love would provide.

And, this reminds me how I love to sign with his surname attached to the back of my name, like a rook guarding a castled king in a game of chess.

I think I am okay with waking up to you, in the mirror, you, familiar stranger! I think it is fitting that we blend in somehow, that my identity has become interwoven with his somehow, and that I am married now.

Yes, I do miss who I used to be, but, I would love to make friends with you, you who are supposedly exactly who I am. I am happy to know you, and who knows, maybe, one fine day, I would be able to love you, too, like I love myself. I hope that sounds okay to you, dear stranger in the mirror!