Yugassic Park

The Bollywood actor who was a privileged NRCI was feeling grim. Now NRCI stands for non-resident Canadian Indian. As NRCI you can get the best of both worlds. In spite of being NRCI, two of his films flopped in succession. Where as the south movies were making waves and jingling at the box office. Recently an ageing star from the south made waves after a lapse of four years with a bang with his film grossing about 300 Crore Rupees in a matter of ten days. The NRCI tried the ‘desi spirit’ as the theme for his movie. But he concluded that the people don’t prefer the desi spirit. Since about eight years the desi spirit has seen a revival of sorts. Make in India reverberated everywhere. People were shunning Chinese products. But in his case the formula didn’t work. The deputy to the Pole star of politics had even endorsed the film and the government made it tax free. Yet little success. The film was about a yesteryear Samrat who claimed a villain called Ghori. But his modern Samrat could not claim the box office and ended up in a state of gory.

 NRCI had to be in the news. As a star if you are not in the news, you fade away. He then decided to make an announcement about his next movie with a bang. That will make him the centre of attention once again. He thought about this idea further and wondered what could be the next role for him. He has done it all. He acted like a rowdy, donned the role of a transgender, played desi roles that will give the viewer goose pimples. He was yet to do any mythological roles. Can he mix time travel fantasy with mythology and patriotism, he thought? That would be something worthwhile to try. That night he had a moment of epiphany. He woke up suddenly with the title of the next film. That would be Yugassic Park. He would make it like a Hollywood film, big budget, mythology, infinite space travel etc. He marvelled at how Marvel Studio movies spun money. That morning when he woke up, he heard the sound of chanting of Hanuman Chalisa. That’s it! Why not play the role of Hanuman? He was eternal and someone big really in current times. He was not boring like Rama and adventurous in spirit. Angana! he said her name aloud. His wife irritatedly exclaimed simply “excuse me.” The NRCI sheepishly admitted that he was thinking of Angana for the role of Sita mata. Nothing more. “Better that way” his wife simply remarked. 

NRCI suddenly exclaimed WoW! His wife looked up from the news papers at him. He has been behaving oddly since the latest flop. What is up? she asked concernedly. “A new movie idea” he said excitedly! Rama gets lost in the jungle and Sita and her brother-in-law go looking for him. Lakshman has drawn the Rekha so as not to cross the line between him and Sita mata. And then they meet up with Hanuman during their search. The dialogue goes like this: 

Hanuman to Sita: Matashri do you like mangoes?

Sita: of course! Who doesn’t like?

Hanuman: How do you eat them?

Sita instantly recognising the familiar question: oh! You are Hanuman. 

Hanuman: “at your seva” Matashri. 

Hearing this NRCI’s wife breaks out laughing. “That is a good line at self-parody” she remarked.

NRCI continues encouraged by his wife’s remark. He says “it is not going to be a Ramayana story. That has become quite stale. Sita, Lakshman and Hanuman become the three musketeers looking for Rama and they time travel. The first part is all about how Sita and Lakshman meet up with Hanuman.

Second part is roughly sketched as below”

It was the advent of the Ghulam dynasty rule in Bharata. The first ruler by the name Barbar captures significant portions of northern India and establishes his capital in what is currently known as Deadly. His general destroys one temple disputedly of that of Rama. The three musketeers arrive at the scene a little late and once again miss Rama. They time travel to future in 2020 when the supreme court declares that Ayodhya was indeed the birth place of Rama and exhorts that a world temple be built to establish Ram Rajya once again to save humanity. A plan is prepared and accordingly in 2024 the temple would get ready. The three musketeers decide that is when Rama would enter the temple and they can unite with him. 

“Interesting” script remarked his wife simply. Angana requires some meaty action. Oh! Yes, I have that already replied NRCI. In one of her visits Sita mata encounters rapists. Alas! the rapists didn’t know that Sita mata got her training in Kalaripaittu long ago. She makes mincemeat of the rapists which goes viral. Angana gets a good ten minutes for bashing up the rapists. No police-no encounter. It is Sita mata at her best. What about Laxman then asked his wife Simple. Lakshman gets to represent India in the Olympics and brings back some gold in the archery event. 

And you? His wife asked. Do you get to do some action at all? Ah! I wanted to keep it a secret. Since you asked, I do some deep strike against enemy lines. The enemies are zapped as they don’t get to see me in their radar, but my strikes are devastating. 

When NRCI called for a press conference to announce this project it becomes a huge international hit. To a question who will play Rama, NRCI responded in keeping with the times and being sensitive to colour and supporting #blacklifematters I am looking at Smith Will. The twitter was full of buzz with the hashtag #will smith or will not smith trending. NRCI further added since the film involves time travel and matrix like concept Christopher Nolan offered to direct the movie. When the news came out of the bag Musk said he would be happy to sell some shares of Twitter and invest in this epic drama. Not to be left behind both Dani and Bani, desi billionaires rushed in shouting, us too.  

One ruling party stalwart announced tax break and hastily withdrew the statement realizing the whole press conference was about announcement of a film to be made. 

NRCI wound up the conference stating that the idea was to wrap up the film in time with the inauguration of the Ayodhya temple. 

NRCI was pleased to see that the press conference about the proposed film became the biggest hit ever witnessed in the history of Bollywood.