Life After A Loss

It was absolutely devastating for me to hear the news. We were together for 11 years. We got married a year back. Everything seemed to settle in its place when suddenly one day I heard the news. The news that broke my heart, tore my soul, burnt my skin and left me breathless. She passed away. My one and only, one of a kind passed away. I didn't know what to do. God took her away from me. I did not have a plan on living a life without her. I did not know what I was doing on this planet where she did not exist. It was like she was the purpose of my life. Now that she is gone, my life and I became nugatory.

The incident affected me immensely. It struck deeper into my heart and awakened the depressed side of me which was dormant. I went through the darkest pits of hell in my mind. My headaches intensified as each day passed. I would feel light headed and high all at the same time. I began spending more time at the cliff of Mt. Kaser where we first kissed. Since our first kiss, we used to come to the same spot on our anniversary. I was losing control of my own mind and one day I snapped and started throwing temper tantrums at God. I went to the edge of the cliff and asked why he took her away from me. I screamed at the top of my voice to take me also from life so that I could join her. I got a sore throat after five minutes of screaming. I lost my balance and fell from the cliff. I was screaming hopelessly as I continued to fall. After some time I realised that the gravity was not doing its job. I started to float in the air. Suddenly a felt a pull and I started to drift away in a direction and reached the opposite side of the mountain. I landed horizontally and bashed into a trunk of a tree. I got up slowly checking my bruise marks. I could not believe what I saw next. She stood in front of me, beautiful as ever. I was dumb-struck, yet happy to see her. I did not think logic as to how would a dead person appear out of nowhere. My only logic was love and she is standing right in front of me. I rushed towards Stella and open my arms to hug her when my body was shoved down to the ground. She slapped me. I looked at her again to check if it was really her. It would explain the slap a lot if it was some other girl. There is no chance my girl would slap me. All these lovey-dovey paragraphs you read earlier, those are just 50% of love compared to what she had for me. I rubbed my eye and checked again. There was no mistake. It was her. I saw tears rolling down her cheeks. I also started to weep. From the first day of our meet, we both realised that we both are like two babies kept in the same crib. If one cries the other will snivel, if one is sad the other will become doleful and if one is happy, the other will become beatific.

She rushed towards me and hugged. She started kissing all over me. Within a minute my nose, ears, lips, forehead, cheeks, jaw, eyes, neck got wet. I wrestled her and started to kiss back. I could not believe what was happening. After we settled down I asked her millions of questions. She told she could not answer any of them because of many reasons. The next thing she told was devastating to hear.

Jack, your abnormal behaviour and your reaction towards your loss are the reason why I came. I also came here to make sure that you live long and move on with your life. I know it will be hard but this is the only way. There is no escape, you have to accept the reality. Face it and be brave. I will be with you through your thoughts. I want you to first come out of this depression. I want you to live your life like a normal human being. I want you to focus on your career, take care of your parents, find someone to take care of you. I want you to see how you take care of your kids. I want you to see how to love someone else. Yes, I want you to move on and start a family. If not now… soon.. I want you to do it. Said, Stella

I started to act like a kid whose mom denied him of candy. I rolled on the ground yelling and crying. She pulled me up from the ground and shook my body and said

Listen, Jack, things which have happened can't be changed. Look around you. I am gone. I am no more. If you have ever loved me you need to move on. You have to move on. You cannot be talking to a dead person your entire life

Jack stopped her and said Why not? Is it a rule that only humans should speak to other humans? Can't someone talk to a ghost? The thing here is that you are telling me to find someone but I do not want anyone else. I do not trust anyone else. You are the one and the only one. I can't even look at other girls in that way. Heck! I distance myself whenever I'm around girls, both physically and mentally. I only know love, you and only you. If loving a dead person is what it takes to see you then I will do that. I would like to live my whole life like this with you. Even seeing you for some time is also fine by me. Be with me, Stella. Don't go.

Stella smiled and gently clasped his cheeks and said I was never here honeybunch I am just a figment of your imagination all along.

Reality hit Jack hard. He knew that Stella was indeed a figment of his imagination. Jack knew Stella so much that his mind created a defence mechanism to save himself from becoming crazy.

Jack opened his eyes and found himself clung to the bark of a tree. He never fell from the cliff. His sling bag caught the bark of the tree from which he held on. A tree which surprisingly grew near the cliff which he never saw before.