Toxic Girl

It was Tuesday morning when I was relishing my sugary early morning sleep and peacefully indulging in a fantasy of paragliding over the muzzy clouds simultaneously having a five flavored ice cream, which once I have had in Manali and fell in love with it. But we know what happens next when you are enjoying your sweet never-come-true dreams someone breaks it before it comes to an end. This time it was my younger cousin Rushi who is banging on the door at the same time yelling raucously “Ayaan Bhaiyaaaa… Ayaan Bhaiyaaaa…wake up! I have only 15 min left and I don’t want to miss my school bus!!”

Let me tell you a little about me, I’m Ayaan and I live in a joint family. Since I’m doing engineering from outer university I only used to come home on vacations. So last night I promised Rushi that I’ll drop him at the bus stop for the school bus.

“Wake up! Wake up!! Wake up Bhaiya!!!” he again started banging on the door. This time I had no option but to wake up. I opened my eyes and took a glance at clock its quarter to 7 in the morning so I hurriedly stood on the feet, splashed some water on my face and freshened up. Rushi is already standing at the door waiting for me with his bag on the back and holding the bike key in one hand. I took the key from his hand and gave a start to my bike and left for the pickup point.

As we reached there I saw a bunch of students were already there, waiting for the school bus. Since we’ve reached there 5 minutes early I’m obliged to wait there until the bus shows up. So while sitting there on bike one girl suddenly caught my sight. She was 5’5, wore a formal white shirt with blue trouser. Her hair were ebony black and it smoothly plunged over her shoulder like water falling from a high field. Her Amazonian figure felt like a definition of perfection for me. She was blessed with the wheatish skin color as beautiful as full moonlight. She had black eyes with a sparkle in it. The sight of her was so arresting that I forgot to breathe for a while. She threw a mesmerizing glance at me and caught me looking at her, I stumbled a little & turned my gaze to other side. Surprisingly until I turned my gaze I didn’t even notice that school bus has arrived. As soon as I looked for Rushi who was already in the bus sitting in the middle seat, my eyes rushed to spot that girl at the parking from

where she took her Activa out and left for her college.

I came back home, spent all my morning thinking about that girl and finally decided to speak with her. However, I didn’t have any idea how I’m gonna approach her, then suddenly idea struck in my mind to call Harman and Kirti and ask them if they know her or have any connection which may lead me to her. Harman & Kirti are my childhood best friends. Until now not a single day had passed that we hadn’t talked to each other.

So in the evening, I asked both of them to come with me at the school bus pickup point, considering that she might come back to pick up her sister or brother because I’m not sure to whom she came to drop here. And finally I saw her at the turning point of the parking, I hurriedly turned towards both of them and said: “guys she is here….”

Kirti and Harman looked at her, at each other and then at me. My stomach was filled with butterflies and face had so many mixed feelings.

“Do you know her by any chance?” I asked

“NO…” Said concurrently

“But surely we’ll find something out so you get to talk to her,” said Kirti.

“Yeah sure we’ll see that” I said

The next day I again went to drop Rushi, This time 15 minutes early, she also came after 5 minutes with her little brother. As she reached and came to her regular place, Rushi ran towards her. Already I was so nervous & seeing him running towards her put me in shock, but then I saw her brother is Rushi’s friend. I went to Rushi putting my hands on his shoulder, gave a smile to her. She returned the smile.

“Never seen you here before” she said

“Yeah! I don’t stay here, I come on vacations, so whenever I come it becomes my duty to drop him” I said

“Ohh nice!” she said “So, What do you do? ” she asked

“I am studying Engineering, in Pune” I said

“Ahh Just like I thought, now days so many people do engineering” She said smiling

“Ha-ha...True! And what about you… Engineering?” I asked

“Hell no! I’m doing BSc” She said

And just as I was going ask more, the bus showed up and she helped kids to board the bus. Everyone got on the bus and left, she drew her keys from her pocket, waved bye to me and went on to her bike.

Next morning too, I reached there early and had a good talk with her, also came to know that her name is “Chhavi”. Like this, days went by and our friendship grew more every day. One such day I noticed that she wasn’t in a good mood, so I asked her what happened.

“From next week my exams are starting and I’m afraid of maths, also I’m a bit weak in it” Chhavi said

“Areyy… maths is not an issue, I can teach you If you want!?” I said it in a whim forgetting I myself had an ATKT in mathematics

“Ohh really, if you are good at maths then I would love to learn from you” she said excitingly

“Fine then, you decide time and place I’ll be there!”

“Place will be my home and about time I’ll tell you that on WhatsApp” was her unbelievable response.

And this is when we exchanged our mobile numbers. That night I did not sleep and learned all the important topics of maths which might come in exam. After 2 days we decided to meet at her home, when I went there half time passed in teaching and the other half passed in talking. That day I asked her about what she is gonna do after BSc, she said she has not decided yet & also she is a little confused. So I gave her an idea about doing an MBA, she did little research on that & finally decided to do an MBA. During this period our bond grew deeper, we even started doing MBA preparation together. Soon we graduated and gave our MBA Entrance together. Cherry on the cake was that we got the admission in the same college. I guess that day we were the happiest persons alive on the earth.

We used to spend most of our time together in college. It has been a few years and the emotions kept growing. So considering that, I decided to convey my feelings to her on her birthday. I consulted both of my friend Harman & Kirti and had some talk on conference calls to plan for her birthday. Finally, after 1 and a half-hour of discussion we fixed a place which Chhavi may like, and the gift which could make her feel special.

Finally, the day came. I told her that I have arranged for dinner in the evening. I asked her to be ready by 6 pm. She came exactly at 6 pm below hostel & stood in front of me wearing a salwar & kurta looking so beautiful that I can’t explain in words.

At 6:30 pm we reached an old themed restaurant situated in the middle of the mountain pass, where on the one side of the road there is a huge wall of rock and on the other side a small space where they have built this café “Special Mocha”. I reserved the table from which we could enjoy the mesmerizing view of the valley. I was already done with the decoration part. We got in the café and acquired our table, Chhavi was surprised to see all this she was so amazed and happy. As I gave a signal to the waiter they brought a cake, we celebrated her birthday and sat there talking & sipping red wine with soft romantic background music. But then I thought of something; taking her hand we both stood up and asked her to close her eyes.

“A gift even after so much!” She exclaimed

As she closed her eyes I held her head with my hands and planted a gentle peck on her forehead. My heart was racing as fast as it never did. She did not open her eyes immediately, but when she did she kept staring at me with glazing eyes. She stretched herself to my height by standing on her toes and planted a kiss on my cheek.

And we fell in love without exchanging those three magical words “I love you”

“This is the best gift I’ve ever had in my life” Chhavi said

After that day we had so many romantic walks, long drives, trips, and enough memories to cherish the whole life. She became the habit that I cannot imagine my life without her. But you know, life without a problem is itself is a big problem. Since we got to the college together I don’t know what but she had some problem with Kirti

talking to me, Chhavi used to tell me don’t talk to her but how can I stop talking and meeting them, After all they are my childhood friends. So I started to avoid talking with them when she’s around but still, she used to check my call logs and WhatsApp whenever we met and many times she found that I was still in contact with her, then again we used to fight. This happened so many times and during fight every time she said I think we should take a break.

I am the only one who kept this relationship going otherwise, it would’ve been ended much earlier.

One and a half year passed for our relationship and one day she came with anguish surpassing her tears in her eyes.

“That’s it… I don’t think it’s going to work out anymore, I think we should take some time to think on who is more important” Chhavi said

“What happened now, I was just talking to Harman when you called me” I said

“Don’t make this thing more complicated, I don’t want to hear any more lies now, You were talking to Kirti” Chhavi said

“How can you say that, No!! I was not talking to her” I said

“Why I’m even standing here debating you with all your lies, that’s it I’m breaking up with you, don’t try to call me” Chhavi said, left

When she said that, I shattered like a glass. Even as I tried to stop her she seemed to not care at all. For the first time in my whole life, I felt completely & utterly at loss. The only thought reciting my mind was how I’m gonna live without her. The only habit I had was being with her. If anyone would ask me my favourite color, I would say that it’s the color of her eyes. If anyone would ask me the beautiful thing I’ve ever seen I would say that it’s her sleeping face. If anyone would ask me what is my greatest fear I would say that it is fear of losing her. Little did I know that I will be facing my worst nightmare in this life.

She was now gone from my life. I even tried talking to her and make her mine once more but her decision didn’t flinch a bit. Now I was left with my placement and end-sem exams. In the following 2 months I got placed in a good company and also got good grades in exam, so after college, I tried to move on but it was so difficult for me that I started smoking. Now it’s been one and a half years after college.

One day after lunch break in my company, me & my colleagues came out of the office for smoking. While I was taking puffs I saw a familiar face and it was her, Chhavi. The heart suddenly missed a beat, hurriedly I threw a half-smoked cigarette and went to her. I was really surprised to see her, happy and restless at the same time. There she was, Accompanied by some guy. I went to her in the hope

“Heyy…” Chhavi said after she recognized me

“Who is he?” I asked unhesitatingly

“He is my colleague” Chhavi said

“Can I talk to you for a second?” I said

“Yeah sure” Chhavi said telling his colleague to wait for her in the car

“You know what I’m going to talk to you now” I said

“Ayaan it’s been almost 2 years since we broke up, I think you should move on” Chhavi said

“But you said let’s take a break, so I think we had enough break till now” I said

“Not gonna happen now Ayaan understand” Chhavi said

“But…” I said

“Ayaan I’m getting late and he is waiting for me, we’ll talk later” Chhavi said interrupting and she left

I stood there watching her until she faded away. We had met after almost one & half year.

How could she leave me like it was nothing, doesn’t her heart pull her back in the past which we had together, how can someone erase the three & half years of memories and the people we loved the most from their life. Thoughts hazed my mind like a smoke of cigarette. Maybe she is not the destined one which god made for me, maybe she’s yet to come. Sometimes we give love to the wrong person and spend the rest of the valuable life thinking it was our fault, but no that’s not how it works. If someone is telling you to compromise on something which is far more important in your life then you should understand that someone is not the one. People always tell smoking is not good for your health it is toxic, but they really don’t know that I had a habit of Chhavi & she used to be the real toxin in my life. But proudly I can say that I’m done with her now and I will not let that “Toxic Girl” hurt me anymore.

---The End---