Doing The Right Thing

Raphael was riding his bike down a familiar dirt road. Trees lined the sides and birds flew overhead. This was he imagined heaven felt like. He knew it was the closest he was ever going to get to it anyway. He was the right-hand man to the leader of the bloodiest gang in the area. He had so much blood staining his hands, he didn’t think he could ever wash it off. Last night had been a little different.

While taking out a hit on people was a fairly common thing for Raphael, this man had a wife and a daughter. He had no idea what the unfortunate had done to anger the Boss but apparently his death was important enough to have the right-hand man on the job. Raphael had killed the man but when his wife woke up, he was forced to kill her to tie up loose ends. Then his daughter woke up too. He saw her 4-year-old eyes shine with tears as she saw her parents’ corpses littering the bedroom floor. Any other enforcer would have killed her quick and clean but Raphael...he left. Now everytime he closes his eyes he sees that little girl. Dressed in a pink, flowery dress and holding a teddy that said “Love from mom and dad” on the little heart stitched between its paws. He single-handedly destroyed her life and he would never forgive himself. 

Raphael drove the bike, lost in his thoughts, and before he could refocus, it skidded through a muddy patch. The wheels spun and the motorcycle was unbalanced. Raphael attempted to steady the bike but his legs slipped too. Both bike and rider careened across the road to rest on the edge of the tree line. Raphael laid on the ground under his bike for a few minutes catching his breath, at least they hadn’t gone over the cliff just up ahead. Finally, he shoved his bike off and rose. There were some cuts and bruises but nothing too bad. He got lucky but his bike didn’t. The paint was chipped in several spots and the leather on the seat was ripped. The engine was slightly smoking too. It would take a while to fix. Suddenly, something inside the forest caught his eye. 

Raphael looked at his bike and then towards the forest. He shrugged and entered the tree cover. After about five minutes of pushing through low-hanging branches and brush he reached a small ruin on the edge of the cliff. He didn’t look around and just collapsed against the left pillar. He tilted his head toward the sunset and breathed. For the first time in years, his conscience seemed to settle. The raging storm inside him calmed and his worries shifted to the back of his mind. His thoughts slowed and peace took over him. He drifted to sleep right there.

Raphael’s eyes opened to the sun rising and a vague blob of light poking at him. He was about to close his eyes again before he realized that a vague blob of light was poking at him! He jerked uprights and the blob of light pointed a sword at him. Raphael fully opened his eyes and then closed them again. An angel. An angel, of all things, stood before him! 

“What is it? What have I done? Who even are you? Wait, is this some sick joke by Sammy? When I find him, I gonna beat him until he understands to keep his strip--”

“Shut up puny human! I am Eae and I shall not be referred to as a common whore belonging to this Sammy!” Raphael could faintly make out her features. Eae’s lips curled in disgust at him. 

“Sammy is my friend but he can be a bit much at times. I apologize...Eae?”

“How dare you call me by my holy name when you have done nothing to deserve it?!”

“So what should I call you? Angel?” Raphael had had a long day yesterday and he wanted nothing more than to take a shower. His mind was still a bit too muddled to comprehend the fact that he was talking to an actual angel. He was feeling more annoyed than reverent.

“Yes, that will do. What has brought you here human--”

“Raphael,” The angel cocked its head and Raphael sighed, “My name is Raphael, not “human”.”

“Fine Raphael, what has brought you here? I have only known three humans who have found this place.”

“I don’t know. My bike skidded and I noticed something inside the woods and found this place.”

“Are you battling demons...Raphael?”

“Demons? In a figurative way...yes. But assuming you mean literally, since you’re an angel and all, no. I’m not battling horned masses of fire.”

“Well putting aside your clearly impertinent and ignorant view of demons, what do you mean by figurative?”

“Okay so I may not be battling lust or envy but my hands are stained with blood. Large amount of blood. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to free myself of my sins. Why do you think I was even on this road to begin with? It’s peaceful and alive. It feels like what I imagine heaven feels like. I come here hoping to capture some small piece of heaven before I die and have to pay for all of this in hell.”

“You’ve killed? Of your free will?”

“Not exactly. I fell into a bad crowd when I was 16. By the time I realized that that wasn’t the life I wanted, it was too late and I was scared to leave. They would kill me before they would let me leave. I knew too much. Eventually, I became the leader’s right-hand man and he gave me the most money, the most jobs, and therefore the most kills.”

“Tell me Raphael, when did you know that you wanted to leave?”

“Right after my first kill. I sat there for a long time when I got home. Just staring at the woman’s dried blood all over my hands. I wanted a family after my dad died but I never wanted to kill to get one.”

“So you have been killing under duress?

“Yes.”

“And you want to leave?”

“Yes.”

“But they won’t let you leave?”

“Yes!” Raphael was getting tired again.

“Do you want to go to heaven?

“I don’t want to go to hell.”

“If you manage to leave that bad crowd, do you have any chance at happiness here?”

Raphael considered it. “No. I would spend all of my life looking over my shoulder.”

“So leave--”

“What?! I don’t think--”

“Let me finish Raphael! Leave. You say they’ll kill you then kill that bloodthirsty leader before you go. Who knows how many other men want to leave but can’t? They’ll kill you but if you get rid of the reason for your and multiple other’s sins, I may be able to get you out of hell.”

For the first time in years, Raphael felt a flicker of hope inside him. “I’ll think about it.”

He got up and turned towards the road. When he looked back to say goodbye, the angel was gone. He reached his bike and it was standing there fixed and shining. He looked at his legs. He hadn’t even noticed the cuts and bruises had healed. As he drove home, more carefully this time, he considered what the angel had suggested. It was not a wholly bad idea. He didn’t have anything to live for and he would kill the Boss too. It was worth a shot.

The next day he walked into the HQs with a gun in his waistband. When he came up with this plan he thought “go big or go home” but now all he was thinking was “this is a bad idea”. He strolled into the center room and pulled the gun out. “Hey Boss!”

“Raphael my boy what’s--” Boss looked down at the bullet hole in his chest and then at Raphael’s grin. “Get him!”

Raphael bolted out and yelled at Sammy as he went, “I shot Boss!”

“Crap Raphael! Are you insane?!” Sammy started running beside him. 

“Maybe!” Then a bullet pierced his lung right as he reached his bike. He crumpled onto the seat and Sammy yelled out. “Hey Sammy, take me to the ruins. They’re off the road I like to drive on. I’ll guide you.”

“You’re so dumb Raph. Let’s go.”

Raphael lay down next to the right pillar and breathed. Sammy stood on the edge of the clearing facing out towards the trees. As Raphael breathed his last few breaths, Eae returned. 

“Am I worthy to call you by your name now? Eae?” Everything was fading out.

“Yes. Yes you are.” 

As he breathed his last breath, she collected his soul and carried it up to heaven.