Fake Smiles

It's selfish of me to write just when I'm down,

When the world turns its smile to a frown,

But thankfully, things I type into don't feel,

Or they'd have left me as usual, like it's no big deal,

I used to write to inspire, to elevate spirits,

Now I just put down some dampening lyrics,

But then it's all I could do, give destructive critics,

I'll take them, but don't tell me that it's attention seeking gimmicks,

You haven't been through half of what I've been through,

You haven't seen my life to call my downed happiness untrue,

You don't know the person I am, my life, or the poison that it will brew,

It's the only friend of a person like me, whose stability is too askew,

A dozen poems out of the sixteen that I wrote,

To you they seem like an attention seeking note,

To me, they're pain's best and most effective antidote,

This is what saved me from drowning, it's my magical boat,

To travel to the shores of peace,

Where finally, with cold words I wouldn't freeze,

Where everything that a person sees,

Is easy to conquer, just a breeze,

How don't I run out of rhymes you ask?

Well, this is the only way you see what's under my mask,

Which has a painted smile, under that, getting a smile's a task,

But it's easier to fake it that explain the tears, with an artificial one I bask,

Some things that I can't write down here, or at me people would bark,

"YOU CAN'T WRITE SUCH STUFF HERE IT'S WAY TOO DARK",

Relax I won't, I don't have to show those to the world, it'll leave mark,

Better known as a scar, in your mind, so here my pen I park.