Find Your Sunshine

The water was fast and fierce

Waves engulfed me and filled my lungs

And in those split seconds of time,

I couldn't think.

I let the current direct me

And let my mind lie to myself,

For beyond my water I couldn't see

And those lies formed my breath

And they carried me to the depths of the ocean,

Deeper and deeper I went

And all the fish spoke to me as well,

They reassured me and guided my body

Away and farther away from myself.

Then came the pain,

Stabbing and throbbing

And I found myself in the ocean bed,

And the water was cool and welcoming

The fish considered me as one of their own,

I had finally fit in-

They laughed and joked and pulled my hand,

And I lost sense of the ocean bed

Where calmness ought to have prevailed

Though it still did.

But the pain was increasing,

I tried to drown it in the water

but I failed,

And then my thoughts were back

My conscience was being resisted

But the water was so comforting...

And the fish whispered in my ear:

"Stay with us, you belong here,"

But the pain was still increasing

And I saw where I was

In the midst of fish in water

'But this is not where I belong,' I thought

I need air,

And finally my conscience whispered:

"Rise up."

I looked up and the single reflected ray of sunshine cleared my sight,

But I couldn't see anything sans water

And my conscience whispered yet again:

"You may not be able to see anything

But you have a vision."

My time was stopped and breath was frozen

I walked and existed and I existed and walked,

Sight was blocked and sound was curbed-

Emotion was empty and mind was thriving

I looked and touched and I touched and looked,

But nothing was seen and nothing felt

Then I closed my eyes and covered my ears;

And in the subtle fulfillment of silence,

I heard my breath and felt my being,

Saw my mind and touched emotion,

I listened and lived and lived and listened-

A new world in me had awakened,

And it all flowed.

I pushed and fought against the water...

The opinions of the fish didn't matter...

I thrust my hands forward and focused on the single ray of light,

I pulled them back and propelled myself upwards

And slowly by slowly,

Struggling with each step and without enough breath,

Almost giving up...

But the ray of light beckoned me towards itself,

I could see nothing else

But I had a vision

And it was calling me.

As I reached closer and closer

The water became lighter and lighter,

Almost colorless...

But the light became denser and denser,

Almost golden...

And I was almost there...

Then a single fish whispered to my mind:

"You were happier with us, come back;"

And my mind abandoned me

and flew to the memories of blues;

But this time I was not lost

I summoned my mind under my feet,

And whispered to the single fish:

"Come and fly away with me,

You don't belong in water,

We have the same strength within."

But the fish shook his head:

"No no no, you will regret this;"

And his eyes didn't reflect the light like mine did

But was it because he couldn't see it?

I then broke the surface

My lungs inflated in true happiness,

Air filled my breath and

I felt alive again,

For this is where I belong;

And this is where you belong,

Will you be that fish who chose to live in the water?

Or will you choose to break the surface and breath in air?

For your conscience whispers:

"You are ready to rise,"

But can you hear it?

Let's listen...

And when you are ready,

Open your eyes to the sunshine.