Her Will

         1.

Once again, for the hundredth time 

Josie stepped through the door of doom

With a pang of pain and hope buried 

In her heart's deep, dark, forgotten tomb.

She scaled the spotless hospital floors

Her soul yearning to scream and cry

Inside the source of her agony,

Her miserable hope, her final try.

Her final try, Dr. James Carter

Busy as a bee, but bright as the Sun

He smiled at her, she smiled at him

But hers was a mirthless one.

He sat her down, then kindly said,

"I'm afraid the case isn't any better "

Regular now, between her and him 

Her silence is louder than outside chatter.

She quietly left the doctor's presence 

Trying to set her messed up thoughts 

Her disturbed conscience was allowed

To drag her mindlessly to the ICU block.

She reached the familiar oval window 

Her bosom aching more than ever

Peering in, she met a sight

She hated to see over and over. 

And there she lay, her sister young 

Quiet, calm and unmoving 

Face ashen, like that of a corpse 

Limbs shrunk, emaciated.

Her liver lousy with cirrhosis 

The added ordeal of perilous Grave's 

Recovery a fantasy, prayers futile 

An end to her agony was all she craved.

Josie left that hateful place 

The heart is torn, but eyes unable to bleed 

"Oh, Lord! Please relieve my Pearl

Of the seething purgatory at her feet."

..

                 2.

Her house was darker than the times

And colder than her freezing heart

She lit a fire and settled down,

Not even knowing where to start.

She thought of getting the photo album 

And began to dreamily turn its pages 

Trying to remember her colorful past

Finding solace in their young, sweet faces.

Just then, someone rang the bell

And slid a letter under the gate

Josie got up, confused, bewildered 

Who could have been out this late?

'Miss Josephine Winter', said the envelope 

'St Bart's Hospital', the seal said

She took out the letter in a haste 

'Hey Sis!', the letter read.

A word from Pearl, impossible! 

Josie's head was in a spin

She started reading the crooked scribbles 

From a hand that could barely hold a pen.

'Hey dear Josie, hope you are well

Believe me, the torment will end

Sister mine, pay heed henceforth 

To my last Will and testament. 

Who says I'm not a soldier?

I fight a battle every day 

Every minute, every hour 

Since the beginning of this pain, I say.

My comrades change, but I remain

Here, seems like, from eons ago

And beyond the 'No man's land'

I find me, myself, my soul alone.

My sunken eyes and a weak smile

Hide the boiling broth within

A mighty river, fighting to smash

The dam of ailments closing in.

But you know what's gonna happen 

After the Reaper takes me away

You are going to bury me 

Forever in 'peace' where I shall lay.

Josie dear, be informed 

Do not treat me in this way

For near you, near my home

A bit more time I long to stay.

The human body has a value

Even after the soul departs

In this world are millions alive

Their lives are hell before they start.

What use is to bury me?

Where maggots feed on my flesh

Or to throw me into the fire

Where all that's left is my ash.

Believe me, I won't rest in peace 

Buried under a pile of scrap

I would rather be much more at ease

Lying on a dissection slab.

Use my organs, sister mine

Give my eyes, kidneys, heart

Help me live, sister mine 

Even after my soul departs.

That's all I wish, Josie dear

Stay my same, kind, lovely sister

Goodbye, love you lots

Your little sis, Pearl Winter. '

Her legs felt weak, the armchair creaked

Under her state of stupor

In one hand, she held the letter

In other the phone receiver. 

'My dear Pearl, my brave Pearl,

She certainly knows much better'

Josie smiled, her chest felt light

Her tears staining the letter.