Lovers' Tiff: The Argument Part 1

DEAR JACOB

ALLOWANCE

allow my heart to grow for you

don't trample my animate love

and shove the idea out of my grasp

I know

I could never compare to her

her touch, her lips, her long brown hair

but

please

give me permission for my heart to fond over you

until the fire dies

the flame that only gains and thrives

TRAVELING HEART

I cannot be part of your traveling heart

between her touch and mine needs

you cannot cover my mouth and whisper into her ear

if I am to have you

I crave to have you whole

call me selfish

call me pitifully and desperately yearning

but I cannot share you

with her laughter and her nightly pillow talks

under sheets and in a dance

'cause you're the only sign in my heart

DEAR SIMON

TORN

tear me to pieces

tear me to shreds

is that what you want?

torn between your pleading and her touch

torn between your pain and her happiness

my heart bleeds

with every scorn syllable

with every broken promise

and I have broken a few

not only for you

but for her, too

I'm not the tails or the heads

a coin tossed, a probability, a chance

I care for you

I care for her

I'm bound to both with the serpent blade

cutting myself with duty and love

cutting myself with commitment and time

your eyes

her smile

your wounds

her strength

your dancing hands because you're afraid to touch me

as she holds and lifts me with every encouragement

I see you

I hear you

I know

I know

but I am one soul

unable to carry you both

not the same

not at all times

I want to

I try

but

I am simply tearing

but

I am simply exhausted and torn

NOT A HERO

please, don't ask me to be your hero

I have stolen time to be who you needed me to be

and now I'm trembling 'cause I'm no longer me

a skeleton with nothing to give

as little as is returned for the feeding of my emptiness

I can barely breathe

and it's not your fault, I understand

your hollowness is simply greater than the love I can retrieve

your pain is greater than the devotion I donate

please, don't ask me to be your hero

we've been here once before

and you know how it ends

BRIBE MY GUILT

bribe me from my guilt

tell me that it's okay to let you be

that you won't hurt

that your heart won't break

although I know it's all false

and I'm drowning in this lie

to make my guilt weigh as little

to take your smile

and ignore the sadness in your eyes

to take your words

and shove your hand as you reach for my touch

bribe me with your distance

this way I won't see

something less to deal with

take no responsibility for honesty

for my guilt

and I beg for forgiveness

my apologies are meaningless

they hold no key to turn the chain

and glue all the broken bits

bribe me from my guilt

tell me that it's okay to let you go