Materialistic Trap

Trying everyday to endeavour

It's the beginning and I can't further.

Is it the end or just an inception?

Things were fine when I was a non achiever

There was hope, motive and desire.

But now it feels like being a dead duck.

I don't want to be a non player character,

But what can I do when I hate failing and repeating like a player?

I want success and maybe I would obtain it

But where's the happiness hiding?

Because the seeker is tried of seeking!

Why do I love playing victim?

When I choose my own destiny.

It's just the starting and I already feel placid.

Nothing triggers like before.

Will things would change and get back to healthy?

Or can I just find a permanent way to quit this cheese trap?

God please show guidance as I surrender to learn the lesson that are remaining.

And I plead you to forgive the sins of my soul.

So that I can free my spirit from the jaws of reincarnation.

Not because I am weak but because I don't find any purpose here to live.