never love enough

but would it have been easier to move on if you were toxic? 

because every time I try to convince myself why I am better off without you, my heart reminds me of all the times you made me feel safe and loved, without expecting anything in return. 

your love was selfless, you never asked questions, you never forced me into doing anything that I wasn't comfortable with, all you ever did was love me silently. 

maybe, I wanted your love to be louder and hence, could never understand the depth of your feelings. 

I am guilty of expecting you to love me the way I wanted you to and not appreciating you enough. 

and yet, here I am, missing the way your eyes looked into mine like I was all that was there in the world. I am almost desperate to feel your arms around me again and hear everything that you could never say. 

if i write a song for you, will you listen to me one last time?

because I am going crazy trying to convince myself that you and I were never meant to be while my heart is turning away from me. 

I wish I had never met you, I could live with that but after meeting you, letting you love me and then pushing you away, I feel like I am closer to a devastating end in the ruin of love. 

p.s. I never loved you enough when all you did was love me.