Not Anymore

I don’t think I can ever fall in love again. 

I don’t think there is anything in this world that can make me believe in love again

That can make me dream about having a forever with someone.

Because I don’t think I can ever forget the nights I spent staring at the blank screen of my phone,

Waiting for you to call me and tell me for once that you really loved me.

Or the days when you’d act like a complete stranger in front of your friends,

Because you thought you were too ‘cool’ to be with someone like me. 

I don’t think I can ever forget the times I'd tell you what’s bothering me,

And you’d just walk away in the middle of a conversation like my problems meant nothing to you.

Like I meant nothing to you.

I don’t think I can ever forget how much love I gave you,

And in return, you kept reminding me how hard it was to love me.

So, I am sorry if I think I cannot fall in love again.

I am sorry if I cannot make myself go through that pain again.

Because love is a dangerous instinct and it’s one instinct that I can’t trust.

Not anymore.