Pretence

Five days, it's been a record,

Whatever keeps us from each other

I won't say, 'cause I don't know;

I just know people change 

After they stay a while,

Make me feel alive;

All that done, they pick up themselves,

Their love and affection

Care and attention,

Teach a little lesson

And then fade away.

Fadeaway from view

Yes that's true

But my heart, damn it,

Sees what my eyes can't.

I still write about you

In my midnight poems,

To my people-diaries,

In dreams alias nightmares,

Which reminds me

Of what you wrote

About me (what a joke) 

In your public diary

In a different tongue

Heavier and classier,

I didn't know until you told me

That I was the subject

But then you admitted

That I wasn't a choice

I was just available,

Maybe I'm replaceable

That's fairly believable too,

For this isn't a first.

But I'll pretend,

Until I'm tired of those verses

That excites me so that they make me sick,

Until I've learnt them by heart

Just by staring at them for hours

Waiting for these hopeless dry eyes

To let down at least a single tear

And make me feel lighter,

But no,

I'll pretend, with a disappointed sigh,

That I am and I shall be,

The sole muse for you

By the riverside.