Self Sabotaging Mistakes

Becoming cruel to me, 

Sabotaging myself sometimes, 

Losing to them isn't the real fear, 

Defeated by self is more underlying,

And disobedient.

Protesting against disapprovals, 

Negativity comes forward, 

In a struggle to express myself.

Controversy grabs my arms,

Loneliness corrupted my whole speech,

My accent sounds low,

Interaction is unapproachable anymore, 

They avoid my presence, 

I self-sabotage myself sometimes.

Limiting myself was a big mistake, 

Bigmouth is a trait, 

Not a forbidden right,

The lies I've been carrying,

These 20 years of suspense, 

And the day arrived,

When i saw myself as a cooperative slave, 

Chugging caffeine to kill laziness,

Instead, I killed my peace, 

Thy laughed at my failure,

As I gave them a simper.