Shades Of Black

Break my heart

Break my bones

Lift me up

And throw me down

Hold me tight

And take my breath

I know your presence will cause my death

Cut out my heart

Leave just a hole

Destroy my mind

And rip off my soul

All these memories

I hold on to

Fragments of happy past events

Now colored dark, just shades of black

I want to paint them colorful again

But you just push me back

Do you like those monochrome pictures?

So dark and cold and numb

You like that the feelings are fading

So that you can see me as nothing but scum

What's left can be easily denied

You told me, it's just like your mind

Just filled with shades of black

I want it to end

But still, carry on

Ignore my screams

Ignore my tears

Just watch me suffer from my fears

Your words, your acts

So sharp and cold

Your scheming behavior,

Unfazed and controlled

Your ignorance

Your cruelty

Your toxicity

Your apathy

Your distancing

Your inhumanity

All these memories

I hold on to

Fragments of happy past events

Now colored dark, just shades of black

I want to paint them colorful again

But you just push me back

Do you like those monochrome pictures?

So dark and cold and numb

You like that the feelings are fading

So that you can see me as nothing but scum

What's left can be easily denied

You told me, it's just like your mind

Just filled with shades of black

I want it to be over

But still stay here

The thought that you don't care for me

Is still the worst

It shouldn't be

I know you'll hurt me

More and more

I know I'll let you

You're so obsessed

With staying alone

You hide your feelings

And watch me drown

You want me to hate you

You push me away

You punch and you scratch

But I still stay

All these memories

I hold on to

Fragments of happy past events

Now colored dark, just shades of black

I want to paint them colorful again

But you just push me back

Do you like those monochrome pictures

So dark and cold and numb

You like that the feelings are fading

So that you can see me as nothing but scum

What's left can be easily denied

You told me, it's just like your mind

Just filled with shades of black

It would be better to let go

I should forget you, yes, I know

To clear my mind,

To save my soul

I should just leave

Climb out of that hole

Just leave you behind

And start a new life

Alone

But who am I kidding

I know I'm addicted to you

I know, I won't go