•x =x and x = y•

•x =x and x = y•

It started with equations 

where I was never good 

clumpsy and fumbling 

with my maths, 

and x never got equal to y 

rather stayed x =x,

where x was me and 

=x was another me whom I never met,

but everyone desired. 

Oh those lengthy equations later-

walking bare feet on my brain's land

marking territory which was out of control,

and all forms of occupied land 

ran in my mind, telling how unaware I was.

Equations changed, 

their derivation was problem,

a good girl for society

from open hair to tied braid 

from a school girl to a blooming woman

how changed those heavy questions 

into form of silent stare 

to unspoken pride.

Years later lunchbox carried them,

holding in place the scattered

constants and variables,

where constant were those well-wishers 

demanding me adapt to

those easy equations, a custom,

for me to be their good bride.

Lunchbox carried those longings too,

to stare in the mirror 

and see color rising on cheeks 

where I too wanted 

those bright colored sarees 

to make me stare at myself,

desires I had too,

to see how two becomes three 

and equations get balanced, 

without any, being constant or variable

rather, satisfied.

But, I was finding that =x in me 

whom I was never introduced,

not even in those dreams 

where I saw myself radiating 

in my own glow.

A halo around myself 

where I could decipher 

all the equations, derive them 

and prove them saying loudly

that yes, I am ready.

Rather I remained a halo 

around those building blocks 

of my own body 

which stared at herself,

not to find colors on her cheeks 

or say that she is ready

to know how beautiful 

a women she would look in sarees

bright and colored. 

But she stared hard 

to find that missing piece 

that missing building block 

to complete her Lego scattered now,

in form of constants and variables-

and her well wishers.