A Divorce To The Unwanted Lover

     

 Khushi was a very good girl. She used to keep quiet and smile most of the time. She was not a loud girl. She was good at studies and creativity. She wanted to achieve something big in her life as everyone plan in life. Her only love in life was her family. She always had a concern for the family because of a lot of problems in the family. Her mother used to share many stories and experiences with her. Her mother used to stop, scold, slap her for the wrong things done as it is done by all the parents for the welfare of their children. Her life was totally in discipline and control. 

She remembered some memories of her young age. She was born in a joint middle family. She was not the only child in the family who was loved and taken cared for by everyone. There were many in the family to be loved.

At her young age, she came to know that her mother's life was small and she would die soon as told by one famous astrologer to her maternal grandfather. A child is not mature to hear, see, tolerate and face any such thing around it and sinks in deep sorrow. The same thing happened with Khushi throughout her life.

Once her mother was taken to the police station by the police called by a gorgon lady who was in the habit of quarreling all the time. This incident was very unexpected and shocking for Khushi and her family. 

In her childhood, she suffered from epilepsy for many years. She was taken at many places for the treatment of her disease. She did not even know the name of her disease when she was suffering from epilepsy.

She never complained or demanded anything from her parents. She wanted only one thing in her life and that was the happiness of all members of her family.

But there were quarrels in the family and especially on all festival days which she could never control or stop and always felt very bad.

She suffered from pneumonia for a long time. For three to four years she fought with allergies and infections of nose, throat and ear.

She went to many doctors but no one could treat her properly. She had to face negative illusions as her disease could not be cured even by the specialists.

She never complained about anything in her life. She took the life as it was like that only. Her family's welfare was her only wish in life. Always she was ready to fight against what her family was suffering from. She stood firmly with family in all situations. She herself tolerated all the problems and pretended like she was not upset because of those things. She always kept a lot of patience in difficult situations and encouraged all as she was the only responsible member of the family. Everybody felt relaxed by her words and support to them. She could not even find time to think about her own life. Her family was her life. This was because of her love and concern for the family.

Her father's salary was not sufficient to take care of all the six members of the family. Because of some conflicts with the owner her father was expelled from the job. He filed a court case against his employer. Electric supply to their quarter was cut during the court case by the employer. For cutting the electricity her father filed a separate case against the employer. Khushi and her family had to sleep in summers with mosquitoes and in rainy seasons with constantly sprinking water of rain, in a wide passage on the floor they lived. Sometimes neighbors also gave them shelter. Anyone can burst into tears after hearing that dreadful story by Khushi. 

Khushi was growing year after year. During her growing years, she met an unknown lover. Every time she used to think about it. She used to stand with this lover in the sun for a long time thinking about all.

On completing 12th class education she started earning by giving coaching to chidren. Her brother and sister also started earning in similar ways. There was much improvement in the family's economic condition. Now it was the time for a turning point in her life. She had to leave her private job. She was at home for one year. Her life was shattered when she struck with the differences with her family. The family for which she was always concerned and stood all the time was not in her need for a long. Actually her break up with the family was shocking for her. Everything went against her.

She tried to sort out the things but her efforts went in vain. Thrice or four times she had hot arguments with the family members but that was not Khushi's style. After such poor experiences, instead of fighting with family members she stopped talking and replying to all family members as she never created problems for anyone but she was insulted a lot. Her family members put their best to throw her out of the home. She was a girl who even abstained from killing small creatures. She was not understanding what actually was going on in her life. She was a girl with a lot of self-respect, tolerance power and full of honesty. She believed in not to insult anyone by her words or acts.

For many years she was unknown about her lover. When she came to know about she tried to get rid off her lover as her lover was creating problems in her life and making her upset most of the time.

Initially, she thought that the lover was concerned and preparing her to fight against problems. But when she understood that lover was after her to take advantage of her weaknesses and mental condition. She wanted to escape from her lover but her lover was not ready to make her free. Actually her lover was her, 'Fear' in life. It entered her life because her life was full of concerns and tensions for the family which she never expressed by any means and accumulated day by day and year after year in her life. The way she was brought up, there were no chances for her to have something like love and lover. Khushi had faced and lived in problems throughout her life. She developed an unknown fear of losing the happiness of her family because of her worst experiences in the past. This unwanted lover entered her life quietly as a concern for every small thing related to her family. But now the things were out of control by her as the fear had spent years in her mind and life. She wanted to be free from it. It seemed impossible for her because it became one of the constituents of her life.

Once she was lying on her bed. Suddenly she felt uncomfortable. She felt like she would die that day. She was not getting what actually was happening in her body. She felt dizziness while she was lying on the bed. Somehow she gathered some courage to stand up and went to a doctor. The doctor examined her with many tests. After the test reports the doctor scolded her and gave her a serious warning that her heart could fail at any time because of high pulse rate, heartbeat, and high blood pressure. He asked her not to take any type of tension and change her life style.

Serious warning by the doctor made her blank. She came back home. She decided to live for herself. She stopped reacting for wrongful acts and wrong words by the people for her. Now she had a clear vision to live in present, not in the past and future. She also encouraged herself not to have fear of anything even not to have fear of the end of her life. She tried to stop herself from being in a hurry all the time to complete her tasks and think about numerous things. She gave her best to remain calm all the time and not to disturb herself because of the cruel people in the world. She decided not to stop herself from doing all good things just because of what people will say and what will be the results in the future.

She started taking medicines given by the doctor and doing yoga exercises. She tried her best to make her life relaxed. She did not stop at this. For the existence of our lives, every one of us has to work and earn. Khushi was also ready to go the same way with a lot of enthusiasm.

She realised that she was not only a single case in the world who had to face problems and everyone has to face the problems, less or more, in one or another way as these are the part of life. She decided to live her life like a bright bulb and not liked the fused ones.

She started working for unlimited hours without any tension with happy thoughts. There was no fear in her to complete tasks. And surprisingly she was doing much better than before. She did not want to have a life like an Oak tree which has a long life without any charm. She wanted to have a life like a Lily flower which has a small but sweet life. She decided to be in a happy mood every moment of life whether in or out of the home. She totally changed her mentality.

Now, the only love for her was her own life and she decided not to change it forever throughout her life.

She told me, ''I did not think I would ever fall in love again. I know that everyone says it after a heart break, but the difference is that I'm not heart broken. I'm not cynical, or pessimistic, or sad. I'm just someone who once felt something bigger than anything else I'd ever felt and when I lost it, I honestly believed I would never have that again. But... I was 22 then and life is long. And I'm feeling things right now that I have not in a long, long time."

She divorced her unwelcomed and unwanted lover, the fear which just barged into her mind, her life and was not ready to leave her even after her best efforts.

Miracles started in her life. She got a very good job and brought many laurels for her workplace by her hard work. Thus she earned a good name and fame there.

Her family differences were continued but she stopped thinking about it. She aimed only to continue her life by working more and more.