Death Wish

Naveen was looking for Sudheer in the canteen. Naveen looked for him in their usual spot but did not find him at first. Naveen continued the search for him. A few minutes passed, and he was still searching for him when a familiar ringtone was heard. Naveen turned and noticed Sudheer was facing the other side. Naveen walked to the counter, ordered something to drink and went towards where Sudheer was sitting.

Naveen gave a strong pat on Sudheer’s back and said, “Want something?”.

“Yes, some poison”, Sudheer replied to Naveen.

Naveen lolling said, “Yeah, I ordered you coffee”. You see, after Sudheer got married his wife strictly asked him to reduce the sugar, and Sudheer hated milk. The resulting concoction tasted so bitter that Sudheer jokingly called it a poison.

Naveen sat down and saw the face of Sudheer for the first time. He noticed this was not the same Sudheer who joked about coffee. He looked very sad. Naveen sprang to the rescue of Sudheer.

“Tell me what happened?”, asked Naveen.

Sudheer, lost in sadness, kept mum.

“Is it your mother-in-law again?”

Sudheer had no answer.

“I told you to find a man for her. She lost her husband twenty-five years ago, her loneliness means you are screwed”, said Naveen.

Sudheer said, “No, it is not her”.

“Is it your wife’s sister? Did she buy some new jewellery?” asked Naveen and added, "Her husband is a govt. employee and with all his bribes he can buy every six months a new jewel for her”.

Sudheer nodded to mean no it was not that.

“Okay, then tell me what happened?” asked Naveen.

“Yesterday, as usual, around 10 PM I finished making dinner and cleaning up the kitchen. Picked my dinner in a bowl and laptop and was walking towards my desk to finish some pending work”, started Sudheer.

“Okay, then?”

“My wife took my credit card from the wallet and was counting the notes in my purse.”

“Why do you feel sad about that? Her using your credit card is nothing new”, added Naveen.

“I am not done. Let me complete”, said Sudheer and continued.

“I put on my Bluetooth headphones and was hearing IPL and trying to have dinner. She started to tell me something, I was lost in IPL and did not hear her”.

“Then?”

“She pulled my Bluetooth out when Ruturaj Gaikwad was closing on a century. So, frustrated I shouted in a loud voice, “What…?” She asked why there was less cash in the wallet. I replied I was using UPI and not carrying cash.”

“Okay, then what?”, asked Naveen.

“I put back the Bluetooth and Ruturaj was out at 98. My wife was going on saying something, and I was not in the mood to listen. I was just despondent. My wife pulled out my Bluetooth once again and went back to arrange all the books I was reading randomly on the bookshelf. To make sure I never go back to completing it. I wanted to stop her but had no energy or patience. She then asked me what I was going to do tomorrow. Frustrated I said, I will commit suicide. “

“Then?”, asked Naveen.

“She simply said. You can do that later. First bring the list of items I messaged to you before tomorrow evening and left the room”.

“You are sad that your wife does not care for you. It is not that way, man”, said Sudheer trying to pacify Naveen.

Sudheer was still pouting and had kept quiet.

“She might have not heard you well. Don’t take it seriously”, said Naveen.

“I am not sad about that”, said Sudheer.

“Then, why?”, asked Naveen.

“This morning, I went around the usual shops and bought the items. But to my bad time, I did not find one item in the list my wife sent on WhatsApp”, said Sudheer.

“Don’t be stupid. Sad for not finding one item?” Naveen asked.

“It had three stars next to it and written important and MIL in the bracket. If I go home without it that’s that”, said Sudheer.

“Come on man, that cannot be a reason to be sad”, said Naveen.

“Get married, you will know”, said Sudheer.

P.S: Sudheer reached home and said to his wife he could not find one item on the list. His wife said, “I thought you were joking about suicide; you seem to have a suicide wish after all.” Sudheer ran across the city that evening till he found the missing item.