Desire!

I desired NOTHING. But, I think I am at a cross-road, the cross-road of DESIRE. The desire to be away but not fully away. My desire of doing everything for myself and have minimal or zero dependence on any being baffles me. My attachment distracts and more than that drains me, but it is sufficient for me to live! however, my detachment engages me and more than that provides me with a sense of connection with my own SELF. I desire to be in a position of neutrality. But, I ponder and wonder that the state of neutrality is never really possible for a human to attain. 

The web that we are in makes us all desirably or undesirably remain or maintain connections with one another. A connection in any form be it with a human, animal, plant or broadly nature or more broadly defined a connection with a super-natural being! The moment you want to step out of the web you are bound to create an imbalance. Although, you never intend to do it this one step has that much of a ripple effect that a single addition of a drop may create in an ocean! you might not realize it or rather ignore it but wait for the storm to hit you and displace you to a position of nothingness!

The exact nothingness from where you began. The beginning of your desire of having NOTHING. it sounds complicated but a bird-eye view picture of it makes you realize that newton was right in stating his third law that every action has an equal or opposite reaction. True! the question however is: inaction is the action or not?! my state of inaction can be a source of force or not to displace a state of mind of other being which was at rest or moving at his/her own speed?!!! yeah, right that's newtons first law!

Nonetheless, my question remains significant when we are dealing with animate. The life that exists in minds of one another is surely impacted by your state of neutrality. One's desire that is inscribed deep within and never been explored or shared or the desire that is told is often the fabricated or adulterated one. The one that is risen out of the inter-web of connections that we are in. The one however that is inscribed deep within is the one in its purest form! The task to segregate it clearly is perhaps the most difficult one. because the chase to find purity may lead one to wander and never really find the destination.

The different phases of human life-cycle desire are often flawed, that is what I believe. Flawed in so many manners. or maybe that in itself is what desire actually IS! Whatever it maybe but no one is really independent in their desire. you might feel so, but sooner a rope of connections pulls you down to make you realize the essence of your foundational being!

Neutrality is a myth. A myth that your desirous mind generates to raise dopamine or maybe serotonin but no wonder it never remains at its peak! The curves of life take you on an adventurous ride and boom!!!! it vanishes soon. The quality of desire is that it is destined to be doomed! The only that remains constant is the vicious cycle, the never-ending cycle in which one remains either out of desire or non-desire!