Falling Apart

It's him. I can hear his approaching footsteps. He is climbing the stairs towards my room. I have tucked myself under the bed. 'Is it safe enough?' I ask. No matter what, I need to hide from him, his devious eyes. Last, when he barged into my room, I was taken aback. He did not listen to my pleadings. He pushed me to a world full of nothingness, a world that is unreal and dead.

I can hear a gentle tap on the door. I try to tuck further into the dark corners underneath the bed. “Did I turn off the light? Last time, I had forgotten to turn it off’’.

I peep to check.

Yes, the light is turned off. I can hear him calling out my name. What do I do now? Can I disappear? How? I am not a ghost (although I feel like one). Can I vanish into thin air like the witch who haunts my neighborhood? Aunt Nina said that the woman was killed by her molester. Hence, she is a witch. Will he kill me as well?

Beads of perspiration have started lining on my forehead. The door is about to swing open. The loud thud coupled with the shrill noise is piercing into my soul.

I let out a gentle cry for help. Why do I still want to be saved? Why do I still want to hold onto the dear bit of life left in me? He is inside my room, frantically searching for me. I close my eyes and let out a loud cry. 

I had loved him, dearly. Little did I know that he is planning to push me into the dungeon of darkness and illimitable pain. I did not realize his intent when he barged into my room. But, when he started pushing me towards the wall, I could see through his intentions. I urged him to go away. He did not. Instead, he continued to hit me, pull my hair and tear into my soul. Not once did he stop to look at my half-dead face. The devil was speaking through his eyes. I was bleeding, my soul was bleeding. I had never felt so naked. 

I feel his breath.

He has found me. He is calling out my name. I open my eyes and let out a scream, a scream calling out to the Holy Gods, to the witch to save me! He pulls me out. I refuse to face the pair of devilish eyes. I clench my teeth and close my eyes. The darkness is better than the light present in the room.

I visualize my mother and my father holding my bicycle, I see them consoling me when I got bullied in school. I see them asking me to bolt all the doors before going off to sleep. I recall my mother's worried face before leaving for the wedding. Perhaps, she gauged the upcoming doom. I should have told them about my boyfriend. 

He is shaking my shoulders violently. I open my eyes with a jerk. It's not him. He is my father, my crying father. He has returned from the wedding. Oh! What a sigh of relief!

I bend my head to see my dejected mother standing at a corner, looking at me. She has no expression on her face. Her eyes are blank. I turn to look at my father. He has changed. The lush black hair has been replaced by grey hair. I touch his face. The handsome face has started to droop. How can he change within two days? I turn to look at my mother again. This time I notice the fine wrinkles lined around her mouth. 'What is wrong with them?' I wonder. 

"Father, how can you grow old within two days? You should have called me before returning. I was so scared. You know I've been..." He does not look at me at all. Instead, he turns my face towards the calendar on the bookshelf. 

I refuse to believe what I see. It's 2020? It's been ten years since the tragedy? Have I restrained myself under the bed for ten long years? I turn towards the mirror.

Lo! What a sight! I have turned into an old woman. My face has lost its teenage charm. I have lost my beauty. I see my clothes and my hands, tattered and haggard. I turn towards my mother.

I can see her reaching out to me, my vision is becoming blurry, she is approaching towards me, but I can't reach her, I try to say something to her but my face muscles are twitching with stinging pain. I can only see the silhouette of my father holding my back as I fall towards the ground and break into pieces.