Good Night

...The same colorful lights that dimmed the entire ambiance lighting my shelled heart, the stairs that took me up to the castle of my happiness, the smell of tantalizing kebabs and aromatic spices has filled my nostrils for no good. The only difference was the long queue of the visitors that made it difficult for me to get a table this time.

“May I help you ma’am!” the attendant asked me amiably.

His sudden soft voice startled me in the noisy overcrowded restaurant.

“A table for two,” I said pressing my lips coyly, looking everywhere to scrutinize any known pair of eyes. Soon the attendant took me to the same table in front of the large mirror. I looked at him surprisingly. He got a few folds on his forehead but I gave him a comforting smile to assure that it was fine.

“I am waiting for someone” I informed him before he could stand on my head for the order. He placed the menu in front of me and left dutifully. I took a few sips of water to comfort my guts which had a peculiar churning. Everything was nostalgic and nauseating.

I finally breathe

It was like I was gasping for life. I took a few more breath.

“I have reached.” he messaged.

“Get in” I replied back.

I looked myself at the large mirror to see if I was proper. I regained myself.

“Hi” he chirped happily, “How are you?” and he gave a side hug.

“I am good how about you,” I asked excitingly.

“So finally we are meeting, didn’t expect it though. Hungry?” he asked again.

“Hmm,” I nodded.

The next fifteen minutes was difficult. Everything attracted my attention. The sound of the place, the sizzling dishes that was carried by the waiters to each and every table, the couple opposite me quarreling over some issue and the guy feeding her to calm down, the blue colored chandelier up on the ceiling that kept changing color after every two minutes...except the guy who was sitting right in front of me, whom I was meeting for the first time in my life. The only thing I noticed was he smelt good.

“Are you alright?” he asked with a frowning smile.

“Yes, yes” I assured him looking at the other side.

“Sarah, please say something.” He said softly placing his hand on mine. I looked at him affectionately. Hamid is a nice guy, but everyone seems to be nice in the beginning. I gulped my silence and spoke “Hamid, you are a good guy, I wish I could have met you two years back. I don’t know...I think I am just not ready.” 

All I remember after that was we finished our dinner silently, it was raining outside and I asked for a drive. He happily nodded. Walking behind him I noticed, if I wouldn’t have been in that state I would have happily married this man. He was handsome, exactly what I ever asked for. We sat in the car and went for a drive. I asked him to pull the glasses down and let the cool wind embrace me.

“Sarah!” he whispered.

“Huh! I responded.

“Is there anything you didn’t like about me?” he asked again looking straight without a sign of expression.

“You are perfect Hamid, I don’t think I am good enough for you,” I replied.

He dropped me home after a while and drove off.

“You should have not said all that to him. He is a nice boy and he’ll always keep you happy. Unlike that...” “Mom please” I immediately cut her in between. “I am out of that chapter. My scars have healed but the marks remain. I don’t regret about Hamid I can’t mess up with his life.” I replied.

“And it also means that he’ll be gone” Mom sighed.

“Mom, if it’s meant to leave it will go, stop holding things. Life is all about letting go” I smiled.

That night was special, the wind blew gently whispering something unknown to me. The rain has stopped and the moon rose to its full self shining brightly in the dark sky. I wish he could have understood. But it doesn’t matter now. I closed my casements and retired to my bed only to find a message;

“I forgot to tell you one thing, Sarah...You are beautiful", said Hamid.

That night was indeed special. :-)