My Dreams Weren't Big

My dreams weren't big, Pa. I just wanted you to stay with me. When I was just 3 years old you left me alone. You left your family alone. You never turned back to see whether your family is safe or not. In my school, when my teacher used to ask me,' What does your father do? What is their role in your life?' But I don't know what our father do for us as I haven't lived with my father. My friend's parents used to come to the PTM, but what about you, aren't you my parent? I remember when I was my daddy's eye, but one day he left me alone without saying goodbye. Maybe you were scared that if you tell your daughter goodbye she'll never let you go. When will my father come back home, mom? She tries to hide her tears and she always says,' Very soon.' 

Father, you left me alone in such a tender age when you were supposed to be with me. When you were supposed to teach me how to walk on my own feet. Was there any reason for you to live in my life or you just came in my life to ruin everything? Is that the thing, that your heart is made of glass, my mind of stone or vice-versa? I guess my heart is made up of stone as it has never broken or maybe, I was created without heart? Or my heart hides wounds that never bleed? I always dare to love the one who was never mine and can't be mine. Do you have any answer to my questions, father? Oh no, no sorry, now you aren't my father, maybe I was supposed to live without a father. God gave me the challenge, maybe he thinks that if he snatches my father from me I'll not be able to live. But God, you are wrong and I'll prove it. I don't want my father back as even if he comes here he'll be busy in his own life. I remember the days you were fighting with my mother like a beast. You fight with her and we all can't do a single thing to save her from you. We just cry and see your fights behind the curtain. You think that I love you, if yes then you are wrong. I hate you, Papa. I hate you. We hate you. If my mother wasn't there with me in my tough times I would have been shattered like broken glass. Bleeding with pain, not blood.