Second Chance

A hidden world exists in the shadows of real world. When the light of the day made it look safe and simple, the darks of the night holds the mysteries and dangers. The stories that entertain the mass with unique and unnatural characters, some time are based upon unwanted evidence of the hidden side. 

Bizarre thing happen to people all the time. I guess it what makes human experiences unique in its own way. Like, how people claim to have seen ghosts or get abducted by aliens. People, who believe in angels and demons, even people who believe in curses and witches. 

I remember the time when I used to mock those people. Made fun of those people and called them attention seekers sometimes even to their faces. My bubble of reality was as bigger as to the length my eyes could see. A frog looking at the sky from the well is more accurate description of my situation. 

We always forget how big this world is. Bizarre encounters are exceptional and not a general phenomenon. It's understandable how people can react slightly ignorant towards something that they never had chance to experience or probably would never experience.

Because its plausible that you might get ridicule over your experience or get locked up in the loony bin ( mental asylum). Most people don't mention anything about such encounters and mostly pretend like nothing happened. And internally fight a constant battle of hidden fears and social acceptance. 

I am nothing different to mingle with the normals, I hide my one deeply unusual experience too. Because I know no one would understand or believe it. To tell you the truth, I myself have not been able to make any sense out of it. Maybe writing it as a fiction, At least I would be able to pen it down and get some of things off my chest.  

My name is Jagdeep Singh (Jaggu) born into an Indian Household in London. It's a story about why I broke up with my girlfriend and why I don't talk to my best friend anymore. The anecdote mixed with a mild seasoning of fiction and facts. It all started on that fateful day.

 

14 Feb 2012

Time:- 6:00 am

Among sounds of crickets and deafening silence, the clocks moving hand and my restless heart beats broke the quietness of the night. Wide open eyes stared at the ceiling of my apartment. 

After tossing and turning for an hour and half. Finally, I got up looking at the ring placed at the side table of my bed. I ponder about the things happening in my life. One of them was how awkward and uneasy I felt in my new apartment. Even though it was fully furnished to me it seemed infinitely empty like something was amiss. I was just not aware of what it was.

I got the apartment as perk working at the HSBC Bank, Stanford. I have been living with my parents so far like any other Indian family. Also, I could commute from my parent's home to the bank just fine. But I deliberately choose to move here. I still remember the day when I left home. My Maati(mother) cried her eyes out. She didn't want me to leave.

I knew I was being heartless towards Maati. But, it was getting really lame telling all my friends and colleagues that I still lived with my parents. That's just not done; you know. When you living in the west. You got to act west too. My case was no different I was even born in the London; you see. it doesn't get more western than that. While it's obvious for me to live on my own as it's expected here. Too bad my mother never understood why that is.

Still, my lack of sleep was not because I had left my home. It was because I was planning to purpose to the love of my life Nav (Navdeep Kaur). Nav and I have been together for the past 5 years and I have loved every single moment of it. I didn't choose Nav.  Because, She was the only Punjabi Girl in my course class. Well it was part of the reason.

But, It was her attitude that pulled me towards her.  She "doesn't give a damn about how people thought of her" that made me drawn to her. She has big black eyes and raven black hair. Her being hot Indian is just bonus really, if you ask me. I remember the first time I met her. I just happened to bumped in her on my way to the Faculty room.

When, She called me a "Kanjar". Something that you don't hear often from a hot British Indian girl's mouth. A straight swear word in Punjabi, which at the time sounded adorable from her lips. I bet she probably thought of me as a desperate Desi boy who was hitting on her. My mouth just dropped at her reaction my innards tighten and I am sure I was blushing at the time. My mind went blank for few second. I didn't do well for my first impression gawking at her like an idiot.

After pursuing her for 5 long years, she was finally became my girlfriend and I was going to ask her to marry me. I even bought a new ring with the help of my best friend Harry; Who seemed just happy as I was.

The wait for next day was killing me. My mind was filled with anticipations and excitement. I really just couldn't wait to purpose her to marry me. So, I can finally start introducing her not as a girlfriend but as a Fiancé.

Time: – 7:00 am

I was too hyped up and it was getting a little hard to contain myself by the minute. So, I thought some running would help me. I put on my trainers and started running around the block. When I was running, a beggar was just sitting against the wall at the cross-section of the road next to the alley turn.

It was weird because you hardly see those beggars on the residential areas. Anyway, I ran past the beggar. By chance, I turn my head to look at him. He was making a peace sign at me. I finally stopped. Smiled at him gave him one quid and started running again. After running for half hour I was exhausted my hyped up self was finally a little calmer. Still thinking all the same things I trotted my way back to home.

 After a quick shower, I got busy getting ready. I wanted to look my best for her today. I called Nav to meet me for breakfast at same place; we had our first date as freshmen in college. I was jumping around the whole time. Like a kid hopped up on sugar, super giddy and restless.

Time: – 8:30 am

As soon I thought I looked presentable enough. I ran towards the door and found my way to my Car. My father gave me his old car as a parting gift. It was a "Vintage Red Bentley". I loved that car growing up. And Nav loved it too. I bought some flowers on my way to my date. The place we went to for our first date was just two blocks away from my new apartment. Only matter was that, it was on the way to the opposite side of the road coming from my apartment.

My chest felt tight and full, my ear felt hot. My heart had unstable beating; my nervousness can be seen from my face. While I was passing through the cross-section, I saw that same beggar from last night again. I smiled at him when he showed me a peace sign with two fingers poking through his torn gloves. I waved at him and drove on.

I was looking for a place to park my car. There was not much place left. I had to go to the next block to park my car. I walked all the way back. After parking I shuffled along the side walk.

 Time:- 8:45 am

I arrived at the front of the cafe, I saw Nav standing at the other side of the road. She saw me. She looked at me briefly waved at me with one hand and was texting someone the next second. I was crossing the road looking at her gingerly.

A sound of engine grunting came from the right side, the moment I looked at that side. I felt time slow down. I felt as my legs were tapped and suddenly I was looking at the world upside down. A hot sensation ran through me. Next moment I found myself on the road. I thought I lost my footing. So I tried to get up but my body seemed so heavy and won't move no matter what. My hand felt wet like slime covering my arms and legs.

 My eyes were still on Nav. I could see the horror in her eyes. She was crying. Pain came as the reminder of the reality. I realized, I was hit by a car. I extended my arm towards Nav. But she didn't come close and she ran the other way. I knew I was not going to survive this. My lower body was not moving. I could see the puddle of the blood on the road. During my last moment I still thought about Nav. How this accident might have traumatized her badly, Of course, she would run away.

In my mind, I imagine myself purposing to her. All the time I had enjoyed with Nav came flooding in my head.  Telling her how much she meant to me seemed so much important at that time. Thinking that dark came over eyes.

 (What will happen now. It's so dark in here. Am I dead now? Or did I survive that accident? How could that be? If I did survive. How come I don't feel anything. Just nothingness for a while than a sobbing sound could be heard. I can hear someone is crying but it was faint. I started to look around who is crying. A hazy female figure seemed to form front of me all curled up in a couch. It was becoming clear slowly. It was definitely a girl. I think, I know her. From where do I know her.

That's right, Its her. I love her very much. The moment, I touched that girl everything shined bright.

Where was I, it was really hard to concentrate on things at that moment; a lot of question ran through my mind. Then my eyes fell upon a red scarf. Oh, I remember that scarf. It's the one that I gave to Nav as Christmas present. This place feels familiar. Right, I am at Nav's apartment. How can I forget? She was smiling so much when we came to look at this place for to rent it out. She looked like a baby then; My baby.

After reminiscing over past memories, I started to wonder about my situation. Didn't I died few minutes ago. My body felt weird, It felt as if I floating like bubble. Bobbing about in the air my body was there but was tranparent. Everything looked distorted like looking through fish eyes lens.  I see Nav is curling up on her couch. Harry is holding her. I extended my hand to touch her. It just went through.

I yanked back the hand, felt disappointed a little. I was right in front of them, it seem they can't see me either. Still, I guess am really lucky to be able to see them even after death. Looking at Harry it made me relived a little.  Harry will take care of her in my absence. I bet she needs a friend after going through such trauma. I was feeling proud to have such friend. Harry was holding the curled up Nav in Arms. At first it looked like harry was only consoling Nav.

The illusion broke right after, when Harry started kissing Nav. I was stunned to see that I really wanted to punch Harry right in the face at that very moment. I even tried my arms flail around going through not doing a thing.

The bitter realization, I had no body I was just a bubble in the air a spirit or a ghost. That helpless situation chocked much emotion out of me in very short time. I saw them making love. I was sad and furious. Mix emotion filled my heart. I even start to rationalize the situation. How things could have lead this to happen. I mean I was not there anymore. I guess it's alright in a way. Now she won't be alone any more. I looked upon them as my heart was being crushed.

Afterward, they were spooning on the bed and talking.

Harry said I feel guilty. Jaggu died this morning and here I am canoodling with his girlfriend.

Thank God that ba**ard is talking some sense. Nav was looking at Harry with strange eyes. Like Harry had said something weird. Next few words she said were something. Which, I could not have believe in a million years.

Nav said," You didn't felt guilty when you started sleeping with me 2 years ago. Why are you feeling guilty now?

 After that, I was numb. I could not make sense of anything. How could I have been so blind. Why didn't I realize. As the time passed on while me hovering around them constantly the whole back-story unfolded before my eyes. Nav has been cheating on me from the past two years and with my best friend.

 How could they do this to me? My two favorite people in the whole world had betrayed me. Maybe I had to die. To know all that. If I had known it when I was alive. Even I don't know what I would have done. It was my punishment for being too ignorant and trusting.

And to think I was going to marry that girl. I spent days watching them getting closer right in front of my eyes never suspecting a thing. I realized my foolishness over and over. Their talk had a lot of details that were like constant reminder of our time together and how they both have stabbed me in the back.

 Both of them attended my funeral together the next day. I saw my mother crying uncontrollably. The sad and helpless eyes of my Father. I felt the love of the my entire friend circle I had. A lot of people came to attend my funeral. I was so touched to see the people there.

I was looking at the people. There I spotted the same beggar standing near the tree. He stood their sipping from a bottle bundled in a brown paper bag while smiling at me. He waved towards me and I waved back. Then strange realization hit me like a bolt of lightning.

Can that beggar see me? Thinking that I swiftly moved towards him.

He stumbled about on the grass wiped his shabby beard and started walking away. I didn't want to startle him so followed him from behind. He bought a hot dog from the street vendor. He looked around looking a place to sit down and then sat on the pavement steps few steps ahead. I looked closely at him. He didn't show any reaction to me at all and kept on eating sloppily. Maybe he can't see me either; it must have been my imagination. I looked last time at his face closely and was about to go back.

Then suddenly, he said," what is your problem man!!". You might be a ghost. but keep your face away from me. You are freaking me out here.

I was surprised. He can see me. I started to ramble on hurling my questions at him. He gestured me to stop," he wanted to finish eating before answering me. So I waited him to finish.

He was done with his hot dog. Then, he took a big swig from the same suspicious looking brown bag and looked at me with squinty eyes and said.

"What do you want now?"

Well its clear you can see me. Can you tell me whats going on. Also is it alright for you to talk to me openly in public. People might think you are crazy, should we change location?

"Don't worry about it……..people already think I m crazy. If they saw me talking to a ghost. Nothing will change. If I am lucky they would call the mental asylum." Then I would send away at a public facility and would probably able to eat a little better and sleep in a warm bed.

I felt bad for him. But I really needed his help.

After a lot of convincing, He decided to help me out. I also told him what has happened to me so far. He laughed at my situation at first. Then looked at me with a stoic expression.

He realized the connection of me being here as a Ghost. He told me that my desire to purpose was so strong. That desire has become the anchor that binds me to this world. While, Nav being my medium to this world. Also, without fulfilling that desire I won't be able to cross over and will dwell on this plane till eternity and will fade away eventually.

It was like some plot of bad movie. And, I really didn't want to be part of it. I came back to fulfill the desire to purpose to my girlfriend. Who have been cheating on me for two years. It felt like a sick joke played on me by fate.

When I was dying I loved Nav so much. But feelings were now replaced with anger, hurt and betrayal.

Beggar looked at me smiling. Looks like you are fucked bro. You are bound to dwell here till eternity. Let's be friend. I will keep you company.

I could tell he was making fun of my ridiculous situation. I smiled and said," sure, why not.

Then he held his hand over his head and said. Orrrrr……

You can take revenge on your best friend and girlfriend. I mean you are ghost already with no way out. Might as well as get little bit satisfaction out of it. The idea of punishing them peaked my interest.

I said yes without a second thought. He said, he would teach me. How to possess the human body. But, I have to give him money after I possess the body. I agreed to pay him.

He took a deep breath and started explaining how to do it. He told me that I can posses the person by touching the person. I just have to think of memory in which both I and the host have been part of. He suggested I should possess someone I know. It's always easier with family member or friends because there are a lot of memories to choose from.

I thought about who I should possess. Harry's face came to mind instantly. Me and beggar soon found our self in front of the bank that both me and Harry was worked at. I went in and looked for Harry, he seemed busy working from his cubical.

I went closer tried to touch him thinking about memories that I had shared with him. I don't know why but I thought of the first trip in college. The time when Harry and I actually got close and eventually became friends. A really wonderful memory that now felt a bit disgusting.

And it worked. It was like being sucked in by a vacuum cleaner. The next moment I opened my eyes I was in Harry's body. I came out of the bank. And gave everything Harry had in his wallet to the beggar. Then, I called Nav and asked her to meet me.

I made excuse that my mother had asked harry and Nav to go and collect my things from my apartment and deliver it to them. While on phone, she didn't show any emotion and just agreed like it was nothing to visit a dead ex-boyfriend's apartment with the person she cheated on with.

 I went back to my own desk at the bank, I knew where was the spare keys of my car. I took taxi to pick up my own car from the parking lot. It was still parked at the spot where I left it before the accident. Then I went to pick her up on the same car.

She was surprised to see harry driving the car. Also probably noticed there was something odd about how harry was behaving. When she asked how I get the car. I smirked in Harry's body and said," I just knew Jaggu damn too well.

After the mention of my name Nav started to look away. This was the first time she had shown any sort of guilt or any reaction really. But rather than taking her to my apartment. I took her on a date at the same café we had made the plan to meet.

I could see she was uncomfortable. But she didn't said anything while being there. After some time I dropped her to her place and went back to the bank.

Beggar was still there. I talked to him in Harry's body. What should I do now?

 He said you can't stay in this body forever. That I had only 12 hours. After which, I would have to leave the body or both our spirit will start disappear and host will die from heart attack. I liked the idea of disappearing together with harry. I was already doomed, but dragging Harry along probably feel more satisfying.

 Begger suggested I should commit suicide with my girlfriend in Harry's body. So they will be together with you. And then you can take your revenge on both of them. The idea sounded great. I was set to commit suicide with Nav and Harry. I was saying yes to every eccentric idea came my way.

I went back at Harry's house. Wanted to trash the place at first. Then I looked at the walls there were pictures of me and harry together. He was still keeping them. It only made me more furious. He had made complete fool out of me and my friendship.

I called Nav right away. Asking Her to come over to Harry's place. That I had to tell her something important. She came to Harry's house after few minutes. I sat her down. Shuffled towards the kitchen to find a knife.

When I came back with knife. I noticed something I didn't noticed when I had opened the door for her. She was wearing same scarf.

Suddenly, besides being angry my mind wanders off to the memories of Christmas night we spent together. Then realized I was standing in Harry's kitchen with a knife in hand.

Nav saw me. Asked," what I was doing??

My red eyes and my aggressive way of holding knife made it clear to her. What I was going to do. Its been eleven hours. Soon both Harry and my spirit was going to disappear. For few second I lost control of the body and breathing became faster. Harry was trying to take back control of the body.

She shrieked in fear," what you are doing Harry. Are you okay?

I moved stiff head sideways

She asked," if I was going to kill her.

I nodded

Then with teary eyes, she said, but why "I love You"

Suddenly my eyes were wet too. I felt warm sensation in my chest and felt Harry's emotions. His body was reacting to his soul. It seemed like Harry really loved her too. Body became stiff for a second.

In that moment a strange rational thought came over my anger driven mind," What was I doing. Am I really going to murder someone over jealousy and hurt? These two clearly love each other.  Was I the villain of this story? Did I come between them? Maybe I was the reason for their unhappiness. They didn't tell the truth to me because they both loved me.

No matter what I was thinking of doing to them. There is still a part of me, that still loved them too.

I moved to a picture of me and Harry together. And started jabbing on my face in the picture. I was so angry. Maybe, I should just leave. No matter what they did I can't do that to them. They were alive had a future ahead of them.

I left Harry's body. Harry fell on the floor unconscious. I was again roaming London streets. Again I Saw the same beggar. He was smiling at me. But I was numb and sad, I floated passed him. Then turn back to look at him. He flashed the same two fingers peace sign at me.

And everything went blank.)

 

14 Feb 2012

Time:- 8:30 am

I was back in the car crossing the intersection. Looking at same beggar flashing a peace sign at me. This time I didn't smile back. My mind felt overwhelmed. Was I dreaming till now? I checked my watch and date. It was the day I died. In disbelief even slapped myself a couple of times. I went to same parking spot as before and parked my car. Took flowers and put the ring in my pocket. Maybe it was all just a dream.

Time:- 8:45 am

Once again I was standing on the other side of road. Nav was standing at the same spot as before. She even waved at me the same way as before. Everything was just the same as the day I died. Like a really elaborate déjà vu. I was seeing unfold every single thing unfolding the same way. While, I was crossing the road. I remembered how I have died. And stopped for few second  and saw a car wooshed by with same deafening engine grunting sound. But this time I have evaded the accident. Felt my heart beating so fast as it was going to jump out of my chest.

After few seconds I crossed the road and I came close to Nav. She was still texting. I was just staring at her face confused. She gave me a kiss on the cheek. Asked me," whats up, baby ready for breakfast. Are those flowers for me?

With a corner of my eye. I looked at her phone. I could see she was texting Harry. All came back rushing to me. A sudden rush of blood to my face and my anger exploded.

I said no. the flowers are not for you

And I took out the ring

Showed it to her………….she was surprised to see the ring

I said that the ring is not for you either

Then I dumped both flowers in a dustbin  nearby and ring in my pocket right in front of her. Showed her middle finger with eyes busting out of my eye sockets with anger. Which seemed more meaningful to me than her. She was just standing there dumb found. Not realizing what has happened.

While going back, I looked back and said,"

 You both losers back stabbers deserve each other. Suddenly expression on her face changed. I could tell from her expression, she knew what I meant by that

 

Time:- 9:00 am

I didn't knew what to do and found myself going back to bank out of habit. Harry spotted me sitting on my cubical. He rushed towards me with a big smile and yelled out my name. I heard my name and looked at his way. I don't know what came over me. I grabbed my keyboard from the cubical and smashed the keyboard right in Harry's face. Harry fell on the ground holding his face.

His nose was bleeding. My anger was still high without realizing I even kicked him in the balls. Harry was wailing on floor with pain. This time his hand were holding his croch and two big line of blood stream came out of his nose.

 Everyone stopped moving, all eyes were on me in the bank. The confused expression of my collogue; who knew Harry and I were best friend. Now they were overwhelmingly surprised at how everything has happened so fast.

I bent my knees crouched next to Harry and whispered

I know about you and Nav …….you a**hole

Stay away from me……..and you can have her. She is all yours.

Painful wailing of Harry stopped for a second. His eyes got big, I guess he was surprised over the fact how did I found out.

I went back to my car. Find my way back to my parent's home.

Maati (mother) came to the door. Her smile got bigger after seeing me. I hugged my Maati for a minute. She could tell I was troubled by something.

Are you okay Puttar (Son)?

Yeah yeah Maati. Let's just go inside.

(After that encounter, Both Harry and Nav admitted what they were doing behind my back and have tried to apologize a number of time. I guess, I will forgive them eventually. But that time is not right now.

For now, We don't talk to each other and avoid meetings)

 

 

The end….