Semi-existing

- It's there. 

- I can see it. Who is it? 

- It seems human. A girl.

- Looks like the shadow of something that once existed. 

- Look at her clothes. They are so old. 

- Why does she sit there, not moving?

- She seems to be alive. Just stares straight. 

- Should we try to talk to her? She might help us. 

- Wait. 

- She got up.

- Where is she going? Has she seen us? 

- What should we do? 

- RUN!

   The human-like creature walked with mechanical steps towards the door where the travelers were. Her bloodshot eyes have scared them away. The moment she got to the door they were seemingly far gone. What was the girl trying to tell them? Her body couldn't trespass the door. Her shadow was far behind on the chair she was sitting on. Through an unknown force, she rapidly returned to her place. And went back to staring blankly. 

                ***

    "That's me. The cursed girl. I am now caught up in this room, trying to warn people. They get scared by my appearance and run away. I have to tell my story until someone listens to it, and thus be released of my burden. I have to warn people so they won't become like me, caught up in this semi-existence. I am and I am not. I am not dead nor alive. 

    Telling my story again and again with no one to listen made me shed blood tears that have marked my face. And my sadness deepens each time and it gets tougher to move and talk. 

    How did this all start? I remember my childhood. I could write a book about my dreams, my friends, the games we invented, and the lost cities we planned to discover. It was a beautiful period of my life. Then, I grew up. I had ups and downs. I was not too smart, not good-looking, not too social or funny, and very poor. So, I tried to stand out by doing well in school. It worked. Though an introvert, above all, I made some strong and sincere connections. I was quite happy, hardworking, and faithful. There was a battle for my soul for a good while. I met with Sadness and Fear. God won. He left me the key to get out of the dark castle, though I didn't know until I surrendered myself entirely to him. Then, I grew some more. I started working, got in new, different environments, and started to understand that life doesn't get easier but I should get stronger. Yet, I wasn't getting stronger but started feeling like an intruder. I also met with Envy, Greediness, Hate, Egoism, Falsity, hypocrisy, and Anxiety. I started to see the faulty world we live in and found deep displeasure. I started to feel empty, slowly I was losing my senses, my feelings, and myself. I got number and number until I turned into an absence. I once embarked on a bus, that I later found out to be called 'The bus to the afterlife'. Anxious, one by one, with the other travelers we were getting out of the bus. Some dark clouds were surrounding us from all sides, resembling a sort of thick fog, wherein you could barely discern anything. The air felt almost absent or overwhelming. As if following a chaotic rhythm. For a few seconds, everything was still, the five senses being unable to perceive anything or suddenly every sense seemed to be attacked from all sides and dimensions. We explored the city and I found myself caught up in this room. I could see from the window the other travelers going one by one and two by two with mechanical steps, I didn't know where to. I feel in-between something. 

    It's weird. This time, while telling my story I feel more and more relieved.

 

               ***

- Have you heard her? 

- Yes. 

The two travelers, drawn by her swift voice, once she started speaking, stayed hidden behind the door and listened to her story.