Tank of emotions

My body empties out sorrow and joy, mostly sorrow, through the brown orb taps. 

Only for me to listen to people, I shouldn’t be listening to like myself, and fill that tank in my body yet again. 

It is brimmed with everything I do not want. Or do I want it? Because I allowed myself to be filled with it? 

Brimmed with overwhelming confusion and conundrum of what is good and what is bad. Am I truly sick for thinking and doing what I do? 

 The tank is full again. No thanks to myself and a mind that won’t stop doing its job in the most useless and vainest manner. (Overthinking yes) 

Shall I open the tap? And do what then? Wash myself with my own pain..and will that clean me? 

Will that pain (these tears) wash me, clean me of the bruises and vestiges of trauma engraved on my skin? Will that pain clean my pain? 

Will the showers of pain solidify the existing pain in my heart or will it be a source of comfort? And then this comfort will heal me, perhaps, over time. 

But how can pain be a comfort to pain itself? I do not understand. (I’m filling the tank again, it’s overflowing. Where will this overflow go if the taps aren’t opened?) 

They’ll overflow and then seep into other houses. I’ll be causing damage. I’ll be a nuisance (interference in letting someone enjoy their property). I’ll be a burden. 

What will I give as compensation? I have nothing. I’m merely anger, pain, anger, pain and.. so it goes on. Can I give that? But wouldn’t that be an even greater interference?

Gosh, I’m Useless. I must stop this overflowing. I must open the taps..let us see what happens. Let pain try to clean me of my own pain. (How ironic) 

Perhaps it is like finding the problem in your problem and there you go. There is your solution. So is my solution.

To find the real pain in my pain? Perhaps healing will start when I face my pain. And another pain accompanying my own..trying to reassure it that it is not alone. So it won’t make it greater but rather lesser. 

Unity is power. And there is no greater power than integrating your entire self (mind, body, and heart)