The Burden Of Expectations

The haunting question to me for so many days was, “What do I expect from my life?”, every time I was relocating my place or switching my job, this question was dancing in front of me every single time and the beats of footsteps were dominating enough that negligence of this question was becoming difficult for me.

When I sat down this evening pondering in my thoughts I felt that the expectations that I have laid on me may possibly be the reason why I cannot enjoy my current scenario. I got a call from a dear friend, she was empathetic to me as we both were on similar roads of life. This meaningful conversation made me rethink from a different perspective. To my best, I segregated my thoughts in these five bullets,

1.      Goals and its associated variables

While setting our life targets, we may not consider any of the known and unknown variables that might come now or in near future in our life, it would include all the major milestones of life, like completing of education, getting job, family expectations, setting up of our family, relocation to a different place or even switching of job. Many of the times, we forget to consider all these variables in our timeline, which indeed create a deadly, muddy swamp of a struggle between expectations and reality.

2.      An inbuilt attitude of comparison

Although we may not blame anyone for this, because I feel like an individual we are consciously awakened enough to change any of our behavior trait or habit, at a conscious and subconscious level. Growing in an education system and society where ranks and toppers have always, without fail, appreciated. It is for sure that whosoever comes first in a race or game, is called winner, irrespective of any other parameter. The stigma of being first or attaining perfection in situation unknowingly leads us to a much stressful path. The more we walk towards perfection the more we are entangled in a large web of expectations and reality. The understanding of where to stop is much essential these days.

3.      Growth and satisfaction

As a professional, many times the game of tug-of-war had been playing, with a huge cheer in our minds, among the players: growth and satisfaction. The ongoing tussle between growing and satisfying had indulged us, a many times. While growing in the professional journey, there had been an increased demand to answer this. How do we define ‘growth’ or ‘satisfaction’ in our career, this plays a very vital and trivial role, in deciding the direction of our decisions? Having instances of a career like breaks, rejoining and relocation, makes us feel novice to answer these questions.

4.      The cards are distributed

Whether you are happy or sad, growing or stagnant in your workplace, remember that the cards are being distributed now and all you can do is to play with them in the best possible way, without worrying of being high in ranking order. Similarly, instead of comparing us with others, we must put together all our focus on what we have with us now and creating opportunities for self. Because you cannot be sad or disheartened for a long time, as humans our equilibrium lies in being happy.

 

5.      Opportunities and Gaps

We have heard people saying ‘opportunity knocks your door once’, the struggle starts with how actually we can identify that opportunity is at the doorstep. After reading many biographies and listening to numerous most listened podcast, I now know that opportunities are only created from the gaps. Either you identify a gap or create it, working towards it will only lead you towards opportunity.

So instead of breaking our spine with the burden of expectations, for once, let’s accept that life is full of uncertainties and not struggles. Probably our narrowness of situations and attitude to keep all parameters in control is what makes us at unrest.

In the end, I know that I may not succeed in any other thing but I won’t fail myself in feeling grateful for all the possible reasons that I have today around me. I won’t be disheartened, instead, be joyful because I am capable enough to carve my own path. I won’t feel misfortune but blessed because all I have learned are the experiences and they will remain very much mine and I am still in the game.