The Hidden Truth

"Ringgggg....ringggg...."there had been no answer on my pressing the calling bell several times. Strange this had never happened before. I almost set my mind to bang on the door, took a deep breath, rounded my fist to punch the door, and in seconds I dragged myself in and was almost ready to fall inside imbalanced, the door was open, it just needed a soft push. Somehow my pupil adjusted inside the darkroom after I regained my balance.....What the hell.....the door was unlocked, the room was dark, and not even the air made a sound. I stood wondering when the lights glowed and a crowd shouted out loud in a single tune...."Happy Birthday to You..."Myra and Rishi rushed towards me and hugged me tightly with their little fingers. I embraced them with love. I looked up my whole family and friends were standing behind a huge strawberry cake with smiles on their faces and to the right stood Pramita as a host, looking lovingly at her children so happy after a long time. The smile on her lips, the fluttering eyes smeared with droplets of tears gave me the message that she was satisfied, she was happy to see the smile on her child's face and she was happy to smile again.

I was married to Rashi five years back. She was the most caring, loving, and kind lady I had ever met and had been with. We had an arranged marriage but with the passing of time, I was more and more in love with her. When Myra came into our life, our family was complete. Myra, the first initials of our names-Mayank and Rashi led us to name our child Myra. Rashi had big dreams about Myra, when Myra would start her kinder garden, which school should we admit her, which all co-curricular activities she would let Myra do, all kinds of fascinations.....that was when things went topsy-turvey...Myra was just two then.

Myra does not even remember her mother now, she was so little when she lost her. After the death of Rashi, I decided not to remarry and take care of our child alone. But giving the proxy of both the parents at the same time really is challenging. Only Single parents can understand...my life was too busy. In addition to taking care of Myra and our home, I had my job. It was getting difficult to find a way to balance all of the parts of my life. My family quite nearly forced me to remarry. Myra was only two and needed good parenting.

I was not ready since I was not ready to allow anyone in my life in place of Rashi.

Until five years....rather until I met Rishi....and then Pramita.

It was Myra's school's annual function day. She was to be awarded the best student of the class and she needed to be dressed perfectly....my mother had stayed with us for some time to look after Myra. This had been a way out for us, my mother would visit us for a month or two to look after Myra, then return back to our own house away from the city. Myra was dressed properly but her hair was not done on reaching school few children laughed at her, teased her obnoxiously, above all they played pranks by pulling her hair and dress. A small Myra could not tolerate and started crying helplessly when the naughtiest boy of the class ran down on her while playing...it was not the end, unable to hold on to the balance Myra fell on a pool of mud thus destroying her dress....she had been weeping constantly and I was called up. I was furious at the guy who tumbled upon my daughter, assuming him to be the root cause of the prank, I started shouting at the authority for their carelessness. A woman confused entered the principal's room where the naughty guy was stood around the corner quite scared....on seeing her the boy shouted..."Maa, I didn't do anything..it was all of a sudden..."I turned around understanding that the boy's parents had arrived and I must take this up with them and aggressively questioned, "This is how a child should be brought up? He has no manners, the principal had been asking him to say sorry but he won't, complete stubborn, I need to speak to his dad, you guys need to teach him a lesson...he has purposely dashed my daughter...look at her!"I kept on blabbering non stop.

The woman fixed her gaze at me without a word, when I was done, she looked at the principal and pleaded, "what has my son done?"This made me furious an extra level...."Do you not understand."I almost screamed at her."I need to speak to his dad..."She turned her gaze towards me once again...Her eyes were deep, a quiet, remorse hid in it, the face had turned pale...still with steady in a polite voice she said, "I am sorry Mr.Chopra, I believe it's my fault in the upbringing....unfortunately whatever you would need to complain you have to do it to me as Rishi's father is no more".She turned towards Rishi now tears had started rolling her eyes, she started to question Rishi, scolding him and Rishi was standing with his head bowed down...I felt an itch...The Principal now confused by the entire situation and havoc, asked us to settle the matter outside as the conversation was heated and this would harm the peace of the school. That was my first meeting with Pramita. As I realized it was difficult to be a single father so was it difficult for a mother to take care of a child single-handedly. Both Rishi and Myra were opponents of each other but the only thing they had in common was they both were brought up by single parents. We can settle such matters as adults but what goes inside the mind of a child is absolutely different. I felt that very moment that Pramita and I were sailing on the same boat. Days passed and it was quite accidental we met at school. Both our children started to grow fond of each other, it felt as if Rishi found a father-like figure in me and Myra a mother-like figure in Pramita.

Time went by, the two families came closer, the children did their home works together, Pramita often used to come to my house when my mom would be in, they grew fond of each other. I came to know Rishi's father died of an accident and since both of Rishi's parents eloped from their houses to marry and hence none of their families accepted both, not even after Pramita's husband's death.

Then the proposal came from my mother...if I would like to marry Pramita and take Rishi as my child. In Indian society, widow remarriage was long started but hardly people in the society take this on a positive note.

I too fell into a dilemma, the happiness of my child or my love for Rashi.

I made a sudden visit at Pramita's place one day on the excuse of dropping both the children at her place. I was welcomed and when Pramita went to get something from the kitchen, Rishi pulled both Myra and me into their bedroom...and showed his father's photograph to me..........

I decided to marry Pramita, initially, it was a no from her side, it was my family's turn to explain and convince her. After long attempts, we got married in court. With few family members, we were blessed bountifully.

This was my first birthday after our marriage.

Pramita had already made everything transparent on our first night. We were to look after our children, we have to raise them up with the love of both the parents. Living as a couple was just a ritual for us. She was correct...I never wanted Rashi to get out of my mind and heart, maybe it was vice versa for her.

You might question me, then why did I decide to re-marry, being selfish about my child.......

There is a different tale to it and I am not going to share anything with Pramita, since this will not only break our marriage but also my daughter will lose her mother once again.

Rishi came to me running and said, "Uncle," he still calls me "Uncle", "Bedtime stories", Myra too followed behind chattering with her"Aunt mummy".This is the time they do not miss listening to the bedtime story from me.

".....and so she became a star..."I completed the story...."okay so now go off to sleep both of you"I smiled at them. Rishi exclaimed suddenly, "My dad too became a star, right uncle?".....The question shivered me.....this is the one topic I always avoid talking about with Rishi and Pramita. I just smiled at him ignoring his question and sent them to sleep.

Sir...please...please,this is a steep mountain road,the car can topple down the cliff.. please.."

"Will you shut up Ravi,I need to reach to the hospital as soon as possible....Rashi is fighting hard in the death bed and you are asking me to drive slow...."I turned towards the back seat of my car where Ravi,my driver was seated. I had taken the steering off him as he was driving slow..."Sir..look..."The car screeched, I looked front and all of a sudden I shuddered halting the car.Some thing or someone had come under my wheels.I had hit something or someone.A chill rushed my veins...was that a human or an animal.Ravi de boarded the car already and was inspecting the scene and signalled me to come down,it was a January evening in Siliguri.As I opened the door of the car,the cold winds brushed my face.I had grown white.....a bike lay by the side of the cliff,the wheel was still revolving,a bag torn out and just an inch away from my car lay a body of a man,young man......with his face embedded in the ground.....I went up to him,with shaky hands tried to turn him....when suddenly Ravi said."Sir leave him..I don't think he is alive....lets not wait here,lets move sir...or we will be caught.. think about Ma'am and little Myra.....sir please.. let's go...."The words of Ravi seemed to come to me from a different world....just a continuous beep deafened my ears.....I turned the man upside down and saw his face...an innocent face that I cannot forget....he was bleeding profusely....he was quite....no heart beat...no breath.....the place was dark and cold like cemetery....Not a single human in sight......the beep continued....."You murdered a man...You are a murderer...you are a murderer....."

I woke up with a shudder.....it was 2:00 AM,Pramita was fast asleep. She was not aware about anything. The nightmare often leads me to sleepless night,how I reached hospital I had no idea, I had collapsed next to the dead man.....Ravi drove me to the hospital.....The police never enquired me.....no one knew it was me......It was my faithful driver Ravi and I who knew the truth. On reaching hospital I found Rashi dead....."Cancer" took her away from me,it was a punishment for me for killing a man on road!!!

I had been since then searching for the family of the man and I haven't found them. Why would I search for them,to help them as stranger...to reduce my guilt? what pain the family might have went through......

I slowly woke up and darted in the darkness towards the kitchen for a bottle of water...my throat was dry....the words repeating in my head..."You are a murderer..."I can never forget that face....that innocent face...which I saw the second time when Rishi pulled both Myra and me to their bedroom to show a photograph,the photograph of his father.......