The X-factor

There were about forty people at the party but my mind was fixated on her. Once upon a time, we were inseparable. “You update her every half an hour?” Hubby used to tease me. “ No, every minute!” was my rejoinder. Yes, a teenage boyfriend and girlfriend couldn’t compete with us, when it came to calls and texts. The minute we reached our respective offices and logged in, we would call each other. And texts, throughout the day, in which the most important and most trivial ones were gleefully discussed. The giggles, whispers, and long-drawn talks were never-ending. Each meeting was celebrated with long sentimental statuses on Facebook. Once she was going out of station for a couple of days and I remember my depression as if she was going away for a couple of months…

Life goes on in circles. I cannot put a finger as to when we started drifting apart. Was it familiarity breeding contempt? A friendship glorified and celebrated so much that it could not stretch itself on the shores of time? A change of priorities? An ego or two, which questioned a few simple truths? Expectations, born out of being very close, not being met? Anyways, we slowly drifted apart. Nothing concrete, no arguments… just a widening gap, a reluctance to make the first move, a slight growth of resentment when the other didn’t communicate well, a few well-wishers who slowly drove a wedge but the fact is that we moved away. The writing on the wall was clear. It's over, finito!

The pain, however, lingered. A deep wound which surfaced while passing through the familiar park, where many an hour was spent, the need of that shoulder when life was overwhelming, a sudden remembered word or advice, the pic on social media, a sudden longing to meet, talk and be with each other…

I was seeing her after nearly two years. She had changed, grown chicer as her hubby was now promoted and life had taken her to another level. I had changed too, as my career had taken me to a new plateau. A brief hello, a quick hug, and we were done. What else were we going to talk about? Should we debate on whose fault it was? Analyze why our friendship stands the test of time? Where did we go wrong? The words remained stuck in the throat and heart as we went about talking to people, laughing but turning over a number of words in the mind. What was that proverb which says” Friendship is like china, costly and rare? Once broken can be repaired but the crack is always there!”