Traumatic Love

I was always a happy pampered child. People say I am blessed get love of everyone and indeed I am. I could never know why my hands shake in nights now. I don't know why tears roll down my eyes every time I sleep. For a child childhood trauma is the worst thing that could ever happen. I was just 12 when they sexualized me. I was just a kid when the person who teaches me misbehaved with me. Growing up seeing parents fight,the sight of divorce papers ,the fear that kept me quite all hid in the heart of this small girl. I always craved for a happy family,for a happy love life.Often my friends ask me why do you tremble when you fight, I do I tell me in moments I can't breathe. The moments that haunt my soul and things my mind remembers.My confidence was snatched by the world but worsened when he did the same. I met a boy , who I thought will heal my scars but he got scared of those memories. I don't blame him but he shattered my soul. Life will go on so do my traumatic crave for love.