Turn Back

 I looked at him as he kept on staring at me blankly. My words had left him Speechless. Earlier this evening when I had called him over he had expected nothing of this sort. But then his expectations from me Were of an unusual level. "What do you mean by you are going away? ";he asked. His tone barely rising above a whisper.I looked away, looked far away staring at nothing, and a harsh laughter escaped my lips.

"What is so funny Priya?".He asked in a bewildered tone. I looked straight at him.

"Its you who is funny Kartik". He raised his eyebrows and looked at me as if he had just been asked to eat dung. Of course his ego intervened.

"Do you mean you don't love me?" He asked. Disbelief and tints of anger colouring his voice.

"Have you ever loved me Kartik?"

"What type of a question is that Priya"? He cupped my face in his hands. "You know I have always loved you".

I pulled back. "If you had loved me you would have never done those things."

"What things?"

"Things like always pushing me down. Things like being ashamed of going around with me. Things like ignoring me. Things like giving priorities to other useless things"; he was frozen.

I continued saying all those things which i should have said days back when I was still in love with him not when I am now out of love. I knew I was late but then as they say better late than never.

he dropped to his knees and I swear that was the time when I thought I would shatter. Often I had imagined him going down on his knees but never in such a situation."lets start again priya"he begged. Tears rolled down our cheeks .his, because he was now finally scared of losing me. Me, because I had given up.

I stood up and he tried to hold me."you know something I always thought maybe someday I would see some sort of madness in your eyes for me". Kartik continued to beg." You cant leave. How can you just give up? You are not meant to" .

I started walking away."goodbye Kartik. I am not what you wanted". He fell on the ground. I turned my way out. Out of that place and out of his life. I had convinced myself enough that he was the only one for me, regardless of his mistakes I always made myself believe that I loved him. Maybe I should have worked harder on him ,on us. l fell in love and for the first time I fell out of love but then there is a first time to everything, isnt it?I knew kartik was still in the place where I had left him but for the first time I did not turn back.