You Matter!

Like any Indian girl from the generation of Baby boomers, Sreeja wanted to marry the right man, (though she herself didn't know what that 'right' meant), have kids and live happily ever after. Though she did well at academics, it felt as though everything she did was like building up to that important event of marriage in her life.

When she landed a job in a public sector entity and her father exclaimed happily "this would definitely improve your chances of getting a good alliance", she didn't feel offended. She thought she was no looker and she told herself "what he is saying is true after all".

As all her classmates got married one by one, she began to feel restless. When a few of her male friends too started getting married, her frustration started showing in her occasional mood swings. At times, she would snap at her parents and would sulk for no apparent reason.

Then it happened. Finally, a suitable man okayed Sreeja and she too found nothing in him to say no. Sreeja's parents performed the marriage on a grand scale and everyone heaved a sigh of relief. Sreeja took a transfer to Mumbai to live with her husband eagerly looking forward to the life of her dreams. 

Initially, the scale and speed of life in Mumbai scared the wits out of Sreeja who hailed from a small town. In those days, she would have happily quit her job rather than commute forty kilometres one way every day. But some sixth sense held her back and she pressed on. Within the next couple of years, Sreeja was blessed with a daughter. 

Soon she discovered the liberation a working woman feels in Mumbai. She realized with a start, what a luxury it was to be cloaked by anonymity in a vast city that doesn't bother to poke its nose into the way people live, dress, think or anything else. 

As she gained more and more confidence in navigating life in Mumbai, she was also beginning to lose faith in marital bliss. Sreeja and her husband were not only poles apart in their interests, but soon Sreeja discovered that her husband was an alcoholic. That's when Sreeja realized that her job was her lifeline.

When things started to go downhill, Sreeja decided she had to take a drastic decision for her and her daughter's well being. She took a transfer back to Bengaluru to stay closer to her parents and rebuild her life away from the daily tensions of life with a depressed alcoholic husband who refused to admit that he had a drinking problem.

Sreeja dedicated the next decade of her life to her daughter and her career. Under her careful nurturing, both were doing well. However, things did not go well with Sreeja's husband. Within a few years of Sreeja's move to Bengaluru, he passed away in a freak accident.

When Sreeja's daughter decided to go abroad for further studies, Sreeja threw herself further into her career. By that time she was into a training role at work, which she enjoyed immensely.

With real-life examples she gave, she grew somewhat popular amongst her trainees. She encouraged them to post questions on a blank chart paper she put up at the beginning of her session, even if someone wanted to do it anonymously during the breaks. She knew the problems of modern-day life could be so complex that some people may prefer to keep their identity a secret. So it didn't come as a surprise to her when she often found questions related to work-life balance, handling tough bosses at work, coping with biases etc cropping up time and again across her training sessions.

One day after her session, one of the trainees named Deepa approached her sheepishly asking her whether she could talk to her, Sreeja gave her consent expecting her to raise one such issue privately. But when she started choking on her emotions even before she started talking, Sreeja realized Deepa was overwhelmed. 

After a pause, Deepa told Sreeja that she hailed from a small town and was having difficulty understanding the ways of the corporate world in a big city. She also said she had trouble speaking fluent English due to which reason she hardly spoke at work.

"I have also married Madam and my in-laws are not happy with my long working hours. They ask me to quit. Even my husband sides with my in-laws. But, I don't want to quit. I want to be financially independent. I don't know what to do. It's getting to be a bit too much."

Sreeja took a long breath and said "Deepa if you don't feel like quitting, don't. I am sure your family will come around. As far as English is concerned, you can learn the language with some effort. Big city or small town doesn't matter. What matters is you."

Then Sreeja shared with Deepa her own story. She also gave Deepa a few tips about how she can gain proficiency in the English language. Deepa thanked Sreeja and left. 

After a couple of years, Sreeja received a call from an unknown number. She was pleasantly surprised to find out that it was from Deepa.

"Madam. I wished to share with you some good news. I got promoted at work. "

"Congratulations Deepa. That's really wonderful!"

"Just like you mentioned that day, now my family is also supporting my decision to work. Thanks a lot, Madam."

"I hardly did anything Deepa. It was you who did it. It's you that matters. Always." Sreeja replied, realizing it was her turn to get overwhelmed this time around. 

The story is based on certain true inputs.