Loving You My Way

If I love you, I'll never meet eyes with you

Neither will I shy away from holding

A brazen stare at you

Even in the misses of my blinks

From across the room.

And then see you walk away

Just like that

With a piece of my heart, torn apart.

I'd wait for your next visit,

To make a full of my heart,

And continue doing that

Until It's broken in half.

If I love you, I wish you well

Even when you talk endlessly about your lover

Giving you a hard time.

In recurrence, I give you all the reasons to

Give it another shot,

And you give,

My piece of advice as a gift

Wrapped with your smiles, to her.

Not complaining,

I get to enjoy all your sobs...

If I love you, I am twice as clobbered

Listening to your hurt and pain

As much as you'd be,

Cause I live it side by side

Like visiting a nightmare

I have already been to.

It's a nostalgia that rots

Under the blanket and seeps

Until it reaches my pillow

And dips it wet

Coincidentally, my eyes are all red.

If I love you, I go berserk

Whenever I don't get to share 

Incidents of the day with you...

Following which you'd pool

Your uncalculated share of approval

To validate my experiences 

Sometimes in paragraphs,

Mostly in one word,

Depending on how your day went by of course!

Somewhere in those long paragraphs,

Your lover has a mention

That my eyes curtly ignore...

In one word though, I am all yours!

If I love you, I make fun of you with my friends

I ignore you in your presence

I walk past you without a smile or a hi

And live off your memories

In my poems,

Quietly,

Like a sacred prayer 

Inked on my soul.

I read it to the world now

And you're listening too

But you'd never know...

How, every night, my pen bleeds to death

Writing about you

And how, thinking of you heals it back to life

Every morning.