A Letter to her Love

29th October

0324hrs

F**king can't sleep. Cause I cannot stop thinking of you. Why?

Because I was watching 2 States! I hope you have seen it! and if you haven't watched it, then watch it. It’s one of my favourite movies! I was thinking about you the whole time I watched the movie!. I know you might be sleeping! But Gawd!! don't you miss me? How can you sleep so early!

Ok listen boo,

I love you! so much!

Why do we fight so much? Cause you don't understand and don't listen to anything I say! The distance between us is killing me already. And you are always busy, busy, busy!

How will it work? Tell me? say?

You should know something. You are important to me, okay? When there was no one, you listened to the drama going on in my life. Every f***king day and it means a lot to me. And that is what made me fall in love with you.

Listen, I have a million things to say to you but I cannot find the right words.

I love you, I love you, I f**king love you.

OKAY??

Your prettiest, best, cutest girlfriend,

Oh, babe, you will not get like me again!

November 2017

It seriously bothers me Utkarsh! I feel so bad that you don't call me. You don't text me I feel extremely bad. I feel as if you don't want to talk to me. Nor do you have to know where I am and what I am doing. How is your love like this? I got upset after speaking. Now I do not even want to cry in front of you. I cry in the face as often as it feels bad. And the most ridiculous thing is that when I am crying because of you, you do not even know. And you don't mind it. and you are perfectly happy in your life. I am crying while writing this and you are sleeping! I won’t be able to handle this for a long time utkarsh! And I might just end up leaving your life!

Don’t want to do that!

Don’t make me do that!

Because every human has a limit to bear things and I am slowly getting over it.

Bye!

January 2018

"I will sleep, let me sleep"

"Not today, we will talk some other day"

"Studying now"

"I am in the market, call me later" and then disappeared.

How can you do this to me ??

How can you not love me as much as I want to love you?

How can you not want me the way I want you?

How can you not want to be with me?

Why don’t you ever call?

Why don’t you ever text?

Why don’t you ever tell me what you feel about me?

Why don't you tell me how much I mean to you?

Are you waiting for me to die or leave you so that you spend your whole life regretting that "I wish, I wish I had said this to her or wish I had done this for her then she would have been with me today. “Do you want that? And if you do then leave me right now and stop wasting your and my time. Leave me today.

and live your life without any regrets.

Why don't you call me back when I hang up on you?

why Don't you say that I love you?

Why don't you want to tell everyone that you love me?

These things hurt me like nothing else. Are you ever going to make it right? or I have to live all my life like this with a compromise.

Hoping that someday you may realize my importance and say all the things I wanna listen to! and All the things I want you to do.

Is that ever happening?

Don't I deserve all these?

And if you think that I do, you better start doing all these.

bye, Utkarsh Pathak!! One More Night I am gonna spend crying and wishing all this while you are perfectly happy

and asleep. goodbye yaar... you never listen to me.

I also have my desires as others have. I also want to love you bae.

I want you. every love-stained piece of you. I want to travel kisses down the valley of your chest; breath in the chemistry of your skin at 3:00 a.m. Run my fingers through your hair and bite your bottom lip; Smile into your mouth and wrap my arms around your neck.

I want to read you drag my nails softly down the stories of your spine. Giggle when you shiver and say no when tells me to stop. I want to forget the world exist; explore the maze between the perfection of your eyes. Whisper your name when I am lost and I and brush my lips against the secret places of your neck just below your ear;

press my chest Beneath your chest; grip into the back of your shoulders;

make love till my body screams to stop and then when I am done, I want to do it all again.