I am tired of pretending that I'm okay.

I am tired of pretending that I'm okay.

I don't know where my life is going. I still miss my ex sometimes. Deep down, I know I have zero real friends(except those beautiful souls I meet virtually), and it sucks. I want to go on a vacation , but I have anxiety and low social battery. My sleep cycle isn't even a cycle anymore, it's more like a motorboat.

I am tired of pretending that I am fine. And before you tell me, yes, I have tried to fix my sleep cycle. I still find myself staring at the ceiling at 2 am. These days, I have even stopped talking about my issues because I don't want my friends to get worried about me.

I am tired of my unhealthy obsession with my phone. Yes, I am on it, all day. And it's not like I haven't tried to reduce my screen-time. It's just that I fail miserably at it. I am tired of pretending that I am this person who is doing fine in life.

I am at a point in life where if something good happens to me, I get surprised. I get scared that something bad will happen soon. I have lost track of the last time I truly felt happy. The last time I smiled without any hesitation.

You know, I don't know when all of this will be okay, or when I will feel fine. But I do know one thing, that I can't be the only one who's feeling this way.