Just A Phase Of My Life...

I was a good student till 11th class,

But I didn't know what happened to me when I entered in 12th,

Perhaps, I was in the wrong consistency,

That's why I started taking alcohol and cigarette too much,

Which results to my bad health and bad grades,

But somehow I passed my 12th class,

And it was good opportunity for me to start a new better life,

I took admission in a college for further studying.

I removed all the contacts from my phone

And as the time passes,

I lost my friendship with everyone.

I didn't knew how but I started repelling the people,

So from here the life of an introvert begins.

It was my 1st year of college and was the end of first semester,

I was using facebook in the midnight,

And then I saw a friend suggestion in my facebook account,

Yeah it was she,

I recognized that girl,

As we both studied together till 4th class,

And later I got shifted to a new school,

So from here the trouble began.

I sent friend request to her,

And as I expected she accepted my friend request,

And then we started chatting for hours remembering our childhood days.

I was little bit of surprised,

When I came to knew that we are in the same college,

In the same year and had opted the same subjects,

So I thought,

It’s good to have a trusted friend for exchange of notes and assignments,

As I was always irregular in my college

That chatting continued from winters to summers

Between those 6 months of chatting I never met her personally,

One day she invited me for a night party,

But I refused her invitation as I used to feel shy to meet someone personally,

But on that night, one of my friend had a small party in his house,

And I was drunken badly,

And I went for her party.

She was surprised to see me there,

I just saw her,

She was gorgeous

But I didn't meet her as I was getting late for home,

And after few days it came to realize that I was in love with her,

But I didn't knew how to propose a girl,

As it was my first time,

I just typed- "I love you, will you be my first girlfriend?"

And send it to her, she replied- "Are you kidding?"

I got nervous, but I said "No, I am not kidding".

And she replied -"Then yes, I was in love with you

Till I saw you in that party, your eyes are just awesome,

And I will be your girlfriend until my last breath."

And then on the next day we met in a restaurant,

it was my first date and I was too shy at that time.

I saw her, she was just beautiful.

I held her hand it was too soft like a cotton ball,

But there was awkward silence between us,

And after spending 3 hours,

We both were on the way to our home,

After reaching home,

As usual we started chatting continuously.

I felt more comfortable in chatting rather than a meeting,

After few days second date arrived,

But as the time passes,

This story got twisted,

As I was an over thinker,

And used to create too much possibilities of everything which couldn't occur,

Due to this I didn't had enough time to pay attention towards her,

As I was busy with my own illusions in my head,

I started shortening the conversation between us,

And rejected so many dates with her,

I was feeling irritated from everyone and everything,

I was totally lost in my own world,

And I started ignoring her.

Perhaps I had no feelings of love for her,

And somehow I managed to keep that relationship on,

As I didn't wanted to hurt her feelings,

But it was killing me inside,

Carrying a fake trust of someone was really a hard curse to me.

After few weeks finally I decided that I am going to tell her everything about this,

Because its easy to jump from 1st floor,

Rather than climbing the stairs and jumping from the 4th floor.

I waited for the evening,

And as usual she messaged me "How was your day?"

I said -"fine, I want to tell you something."

She said -" yes, please".

I said -" I am not in love with you anymore,

I don't have feelings for you, I am really confused about this, I want to break up".

There was awkward silence in the conversation till 7 minutes.

After 7 minutes,

She replied -"okay good bye".

And this was the last talk between us

I was really feeling upset for her,

But all I could do was nothing,

As I feel more comfortable in living alone,

And carrying a bunch of memories in my head.

In those 6 months of relationship,

I didn't had a single kiss with her,

As I knew earlier that I am not capable to afford this relationship,

And I didn't wanted to attract her too much towards myself .

That relationship was the biggest mistake of my life,

From which I learnt many lessons about life,

Sometimes it’s better to control our feelings towards someone,

As it can destroy two lives together in a short period of time,

Avoid quick decisions in life,

Take time as much as you want but always make accurate and perfect decision,

Your one precious decision can save many lives...