Lightning

How does it feel to be struck by lightning?

Rivulets of liquid silver chase one another down the uneven translucent surface-

Occasionally merging

As if trying to shove the other playfully-

And ending up stumbling

And tumbling

Down together- 

As one.

Like us

The tinted glass gleams white time and time again

Injecting the droplets and their fellow tracks with dazzling incandescence.

Like your warm hazel eyes

A glaring white streak rips through the tarry sky,

The bright light blinding my eyes 

As it illuminates the hazy, shimmering world outside;

The writhing world.

Straining on its shackles rooted in reality.

The earth trembles to the core with thunder.

How does it taste? Lightning?

I wonder

If nature reflects our turmoil-

Our storms.

As the storm rips through the town,

Amid the violence of the pouring rain-

I think of you.

Remember the sunny day I ruined your pretty dress ?

The one with sunflowers ?

When I crashed into you with my bicycle ?

When you tore into my life.

I do.

As we lay there

Clothes muddy

Knees skinned

Complete strangers 

Laughing-

Incredulous;

Careless;

Free.

Your laughter...

How about that day-

When we snuck into that lonely house

And told each other about our favourite constellations,

Nebulas,

Music ?

The daisies in your hair catching light...

Oh! How about then...?

When we both got shoved out of our houses-

Well, I escaped

And we ended up sleeping on the platform-

Your head on my lap-

Our clothes soaked 

Our cheeks soaked.

Broken messes-

Clinging together.

There was a storm that day too.

Lightning cuts the sky open.

The rain keeps pouring.

I think of you on the hospital bed.

Your bony ankles 

Your wasting body

Your sunshine smile

Your closing eyes

Your chapped lips

Your blue skin

Your dimming smile

You asked me once if I believed in God.

I said I didn't.

You were my religion

You stole my faith

I still don't.

There's no religion

There's no God

There's no life-

Without you.

The ground beneath my feet shakes

White noise in my eardrums

Dizziness

But I'm right here

I whip my head towards the door.

A silhouette,

A dress-

Sunflowers?

Do you believe in afterlife?

What !? Of course not !

I do.

A pounding headache is splitting my brain

Can't think

Is it...

Is it her ?

It's me

All rationale abandons me.

My legs wobble

Can't stand anymore-

Sliding down the windowsill I drop to the floor

Is she smiling? 

Why can't I see her?

You will. I'm right here.

My room keeps blurring

The drawings 

The star charts 

The Oscar Wilde books

The empty pill bottles-

There is a hammer pounding in my head

I see her.

Hazy

But real

Real?

I don't care.

She comes closer

My head lulls onto her shoulder

A hand holds my head lightly

Gently

She's here.

I am. Sleep now. I'll be here when you wake up. 

My lips try a smile

The world turns dark.

I hear her heart-

Alive,

Steady,

Real.

She feels like lightning.

She tastes like lightning.

She is... lightning.