The Black and Red Butterfly

Sitting this morning with my sis and mother,

Yet my heart is constantly thinking of my father

We are looking at the beautiful flowers and butterflies,

Seeing the tiny birds and hearing the cuckoo's cries

Sunshine makes everything look clear and bright,

But I feel blank; and nothing seems right

My heart feels empty; incapable of love,

Missing my dad who's gone far up above

Why did he have to leave all of a sudden?

Maybe he got tired of all of his burdens?

Both god and him; they fooled us all the way,

Giving some hope and then snatching it away

I think of many things to feel pacified,

But each thought seems shallow; I'm not satisfied.

All we have left of him are memories,

Some of his things and a few stories 

I can feel his shoulder; as I rested my baby head 

When he used to carry me; to put me to bed 

I can feel his pat on my back, 

His reminders when I used to slack

He was reassuring; always there for me,

Ever cheering and encouraging me

He used to wave at me till the end,

And I waved back too as the train went over the bend

All I have left now are these fleeting visions,

It's so hard to be practical and accept the situation..

Just now I had started to relate to him,

In different roles - as a parent or spouse..

How to handle situations, in or out of the house..

How do I ask my unspoken questions now,

Can I get one more chance, will god allow?

How do I discover the man of 71 years?

Time spent in struggles, hard work and fears..

Inspite of this he was full of cheer

Only these facts are now my souvenirs 

The chasing squirrels bring me back from my reverie 

Looks like they have made a new discovery 

As we sit watching life go by,

In comes a huge black and red butterfly!

It comes so close to us and flutters,

Goes to my mom then sis and I muttered,

Is that Appa? Has he come in this form?

Is it a message from him? Is that the new norm?

It flies off just as fast as it had come,

We all break into smiles, far from being glum

Appa has sent us a magical sign,

He's with us, inspite of being one with the divine!

Yes, I should lead my life with this belief,

Sensing him in any form brings such a relief 

Sunshine makes everything look clear and bright;

And suddenly my heart feels so light

I realise he lives on everywhere and even in me,

He is the root and I am now the tree...