Thinking Of You, Appa

Appa, as I catch myself...

Repeating your phrases,

Chanting your prayers,

Making dishes the way you liked,

Enjoying them the same way,

Sitting on the same chair,

Writing with your colourful pens,

Eating from your betel nut stash,

Using your preferred long spoon,

Walking along your usual route,

Greeting friends in your style,

Asking Amma about you, your life,

Trying to put myself in your shoes,

Laughing about what you would have said,

Tearing up the very next second missing you,

Trying to hold on to you dearly,

Trying to let go slowly too,

I know I have lost you, 

But I can feel you..

And love you even more.