What Does Red Mean To Me?

What does red mean to me?

It is not just a primary colour,

I mix with yellow or blue to get

My orange or purple.

Red is my blood the one that keeps me

Warm, and the one that reminds me

That I am indeed a woman.

Red is my eyes after a few drinks

When the world seems to fall apart,

And my tipsy toes have no ground.

Red is once again my puffy eyes

After an entire session of 

Breakdowns and deprecation. 

Red is the leaf of fall,

The one that is dead, the one that

slips through air and lies on the drying meadow.

Red is my dress that once was smeared with

Birthday cake and doesn't fit me

Anymore.

Red is my Taylor Swift album,

The one that makes me feel like a 

Teen, reminds me of my first heartbreak

And probably the last one.

Red is the soreness of my throat

From all the silent screaming.

Red is the love, I'll never understand

For it never came to me like a gift

Wrapped in velvet.

Red is the pain that resides in me,

That keeps me grounded,

Reminds me that I am a human and not

The demon I wish to turn into.

Red is the life, I'm living and all the

Struggles that came as a complementary 

Curse or maybe a reward.

Red is me. 

The lonely me who is lost at times

But knows the way home.