Me And My Own Self

Seema was born in a small town. The parents were very happy to have their first baby - a girl child. Seema's mother was beautiful and was very proud to give birth to a girl child. Before the birth of the child Seema's mother visited a Kali temple. Her heart and soul was full of power and strength after viewing the face of the goddess. She thought in her mind 'If I give birth to a girl I want her to be like you maa". She returned home happily with all positive thoughts. Goddess kali the most powerful and graceful deity showered her blessings and after a month a girl was born. Seema's parents were very happy to have their first child. As time passed by the Baby grew day by day.

After four and a half years later her parents were preparing her for admission to a convent school. Seema was very active and energetic. She passed the interview and the very first day her father accompanied her to school. Her mother kissed her and adviced her to study nicely. After entering the school for the first time she thought she was all alone. She kissed het mother very much. She attended the assembly and entered her nursery class. There were 80 students. Few of them were crying. Then after a few minutes, the last teacher entered and wishes everyone a good morning. The students also replied good morning Mam. Seema made few friends that day Meera and Sofia.

During tiffin break, they enjoyed their good and were allowed to play. After the break, Seema was asked to recite any poem. She received "twinkle twinkle little atar" with actions. Mam was very happy and have her chocolate. After school, she returns home by the school bus. Her father was waiting for her at the bus stop. Her mother was also eagerly waiting to receive her daughter. Seema entered her house and seeing her mother waiting for her near the door step made her very happy. She kissed her mother and started sharing her day long journey in school. She finished her food and was asked to take rest.

During the evening her mother helped her with her studies. As days passed by she attained the adolescent stage and was always a hard working student. She helped her friends whenever they asked for help. She was very obedient and each and every teacher loved her. She passed out of school and from college and academically was very good. When for higher studies she wanted to go to Delhi her other family members dinor support her. Her mother was the only support. Her father also did not support her. But due to her mother and grandmother's initiative she was able to complete her master's from Delhi University.

She was searching for a job and within a year she got a job in the banking sector. She was happy to get a handsome salary and fullfill her dreams. But she was not happy. Seema was not satisfied with the job. She felt that her life has become stagnant. One day ad Seema was returning from her job in the bus stop she found two small girls near a night school waiting for their mother to come and take them home. Seema enquired "why are you both waiting alone here?" They answered " "We are waiting for our mother to come and take us home.

"What are your names?. Are you sisters ?", Seema asked. They replied " I am lakshmi and She is Saraswati, my younger sister. Our mother works as a domestic help in that green apartment and she will come to take us home." Frequently Seema met the two girls and they used to interact with each other. She often used to bring chocolates and sweets for the two girls. They used to call her didi.

One tuesday while Seema was crossing the night school she noticed that Lakshmi 10 years old was waiting alone. Seema enquired why she was waiting alone and where is Saraswati. Lakshmi said that her sister is suffering from fever. The next day also Lakshmi was waiting alone. Seema thought to visit their house and meet Saraswati who was 6 years old. Lakshmi took her home. Saraswati became very weak and was not able to wat any food. Seema decided to take her to the doctor.

That day Seema came to know that their father left their mother for she gave birth to two girls. Their mother is raising them with lots of Pain. Somehow could bring food and stay in a rented room. Theirr motherShanti was not able to take the girl to the doctor. Hearing this Seema took Saraswati to the doctor and gave the doctor's Fees and MEDICINE. Within four days Saraswati recovered and started coming to school. Soon their exam was about to start and they did not have special and copy to practice. When Seema visited their house she saw lakshmi used to write on the flood and practice her maths. But all the maths sum was correctly done. She gave them a pencil and a copy to write.

Lakshmi could not read English properly and asked their sweet didi for some help. Seema agreed to help them. After her job she visited their home and helped them with their studies. Lakshmi and Saraswati improved a lot. Now they were able to speak English fluently. Soon Seema was transformed to Master didi from only didi. Other children of their class also came to Lakshmi 's house to take lessons from Master didi. Soon Seema realized that she was very happy from within.

She also missed her own Teacher. Their love and affection. Seema returned home and discussed with her mother that she wanted to help these poor children who are eager to learn new things and provide a room for their class. Her mother at once agreed and Seema started her classes free of cost. Seema's parents provided children with free food. Very soon the number of children increased to 25. Every day after duty Seema taught these poor children. Seema's hard work and love for the children inspired her to give her best. She invested thirty percent of her salary to but good books, equipment and teaching side for her class. Children also learned wholeheartedly and gave their hundred percent effort.

Within a year Seema's effort bore fruits and Lakshmi taking with giving more students received a meritorious scholarship. Teachers of the night school and their principal too started taking interesting in these students and tired to provide help and support. Seema's classroom was transformed into a laboratory and children learned by doing things by themselves. Everything was going fine.

On 16th August Kishor and his family visited Seema's residence regarding marriage proposal. The families interacted among themselves and fixed the marriage. Seema beforehand informed Kishor and his family that her class and the children are part of her life and she will continue her class after marriage also. Soon they got married and Kishor supported her in every need. Three months passed away and when Seema thought that she was successfully managing her class, job and family then on one tuesday her mother in law called her and told her to stop going for her classes and concentrate on her family life. She didn't say anything and went upstairs to her room and told Kishor what het mother has told.

To her surprise, Kishore too supported his mother saying that whatever she is telling is for our good. Seema could not tolerate this bit kept quiet and went to the office. The whole day she was unable to concentrate on her work thanking of the children's future. The children and their families were so dependant on Master didi. The evening she came to her class and returned home quickly. At night she was unable to sleep. Two weeks passed by and was given too much household works claiming that the maid was sick. She continued working hard to satisfy everyone but the family members found daily with her and started abusing her.

She kept mum and worked tirelessly from cooking, washing clothes, cleaning utensils and the house then went for her job. She did not stop going to her class but the time limit was one hour only. At home, Kishor too started neglecting her and complained to her mother that she doesn't take care of the family members nicely. Seema's mother replied that she should be given some more time to adjust to the New environment.

One year of marriage was completed and the day of their anniversary Kishor did not wish her. Seema brought a red rose bouquet for Kishor and wished him but Kishor replied:" I am not happy then what for happy anniversary". Seema said nothing. She prepared fish for dinner and called everyone. Everyone enjoyed the food and sweets which she brought but no one wished her. After finishing her work she went to sleep. She thought about how people's life changes. She was really not happy. She asked Kishor to go for an outing to some holo station for the first time. Kishor neglected her saying that work pressure was more in office and extra money is not available to waste on you. But Seema did not leave she said:" the tour Expenses are mine and if required we can have a family outing".

Kishor thought for sometimes and then replied that he will talk to his mother and then decide. Seema said ok and slept. She just wanted to go closer to nature and relax for she was too tired of working. The next morning Kishor told his mother what Seema has planned. Having heard that the tour Expenses will be bored by Seema she agreed. During Durga Puja vacation they left for Gangtok, Sikkim. The beauty of the place, the waterfalls, greenery everyhere, the cold climate made Seema forget her sorrow and filled her best with freshness. Seven days passed and they returned home. Seema totally changesd herself. She stopped thinking of any negative things.

Whenever she returned from work and class she regularly brought gifts for her mother in law and Kishore's sister Kajal. Now things were improving Kishor was giving her attention and seeking to know how her class and children were doing. The strenght to fight against all evils came to her from her mother and the blessings of kali Maa the eyernally powerful goddess. Whenever she felt lovely she visited the kali temple. The deity there became her own mother with whome she interacted regularly.

Seema's mother was not keeping well so her family problems she could not share with her mother. She discovered the love in the face and looks of Maa kali. As she regularly visited the temple nice a week the priest blessed her with some fruits and sweets and sometimes narated some verses from chandi. The priest and her wife had no children. They found a child in Seema.

Her innocence and love for the poor children also inspired them to visit her class with every Sunday to teach religious lessons for the children because Seema understood along with social awareness religious awareness was important to attain mental strength and improve positive thoughts. The priest also taught slokas, mantras, and yoga and instilled in the children never to give up attitude. Seema also learned to live life fearlessly and go forward to fulfill her dream to give a better future to her children.

Only education can remove darkness from one's mind, heart, and soul. Her selfsatisfaction was more important than money and fame. Work was worship and working hard satisfied the purpose of living in this world for Seema.