Messed Up

"Why did you choose me, a question that gnaws at my soul? I find myself lost in moments of reflection, diving into the depths of memory, grappling with the belief that I could have somehow made things different, yet grappling with the reality that I didn't." These poignant words are a glimpse into the pages of my dear friend Zizzy's diary, shedding light on their relationship with a person named Addy.

Zizzy was a pretty girl with many thoughts in her overwhelmed mind. She was always alone. Her life was messed up and to overcome this she got addicted to smoking, vaporizers, alcohol, and such other stuff. She faced everything with a cute smile which built up her confidence every single day. The best thing about her she didn’t give a damn about anyone, she did what she wanted. She became heartless but before that, she was totally different just an incident happened to her and made that sweetheart ‘A HEARTLESS BITCH’. Due to all these, she lost her interest in studying. In the era where every student was studying Biology and Chemistry, Zizzy was solving an Algebraic Equation which was ridiculously boring and just like a punishment in hell for other students but for Zizzy, it was an adventurous game that increased her interest in every level. Unlike other girls, she was away from makeup, crushes, etc. She was more into cars and bikes as her thought was that they’ll never betray.

On the contrasting side, there stood Addy, the embodiment of a gentleman. His unwavering dedication was eternally tethered to the pursuit of knowledge, far removed from the frivolities of the world. Despite sharing in Zizzy's trials, he found solace within the realm of academia. His abode was not merely a room but a sanctuary of bound wisdom. Love, as an emotion, remained conspicuously absent from his lexicon, for his sole aspiration was to carve a path to success. Addy's prodigious intellect guided his decisions, casting an aura of maturity beyond his tender years.

Zizzy and Addy were classmates since their childhood and were generous to each other. The year ended and they were promoted to the new class ‘Grade 9’.But this seemed tense as this year wasn’t like the previous class, no fun like that, and yes this was their mature time as they entered high school.

 It was the first day of the fresh new class and Zizzy came across as miserable which was perceived by Addy. He was concerned about her so he tried to know about the obstacles she was facing due to which he followed her. While he was following her, his interest developed in Zizzy, and looked like he had a crush on her. Well, the stuff Zizzy was doing was exposed to Addy which shouldn’t be. However, he wanted to hear all that from the mouth of her but he didn’t get an opportunity.

One day, when Zizzy was sitting isolated and anxious listening to the music from which she gets relief, Addy questioned, “Hey Zizz, Sup? How’s your studies going? She threw her head downwards and ignored him as if he was a stranger although he both had a strong bond in their dated classes. She conversed with him abruptly and snapped “Go away!” She realized her rudeness later but didn’t apologize to him. Along with that, she comprehended that a lot was happening in her weighed-down head as her stress was being fed every day and that was bursting in the form of frustration.

On the other side, Addy was insecure about Zizzy as he felt like as a friend he should be there for her but he just couldn’t.

Moreover, there was a debut competition in the school in which Addy was victorious and this was what he wanted but after achieving so much he still felt like he had achieved nothing and wasn’t delighted for the award. This was all observed by Zizzy and being a good mate she went towards him, cheered him up “Hey! You did well and won then what’s the point of being sorrowful?” and yes built his confidence. She uttered, “Now c’mon, smile as you always do”. And she was gradually falling in love with him.

She was about to leave but Addy held her hand and asked to spill everything, “Tell me, what’s happening? Where did your smile fade away? How did you get into such nonsense stuff? You weren’t like that.” So she quoted everything that happened to her and how she handled all that. “I’m all alone, I lost everything, my best friend, my close people, my smile, my mental peace, and much more. Beyah (my ex-best friend) betrayed me and left me with some lame excuses. I wiped my tears alone as I had no one. Whenever I succeeded in anything I got no appreciation from my parents or anyone else and that burdened my mind more. I got no love, no care, and nothing as I was bullied every day by 

my friends and classmates of course except you. And this is how pain became my best friend.” “But you’re pretty and attractive, then why were you bullied?” inquired Addy. “Well, I’m not that pretty but was victimized for my short height and my accent,” replied Zizzy. The tears welled up in her eyes like a river overflowing its bank.

Addy gently brushed away the tears that welled in her eyes and stated, “ Girl, you look cute when smiling and these tears don’t suit you. This is the real world and we’ve to face it like it is. People come, judge, and go away but are we going to listen to their shits? Does that affect us? No na, then we don’t have to care about what they say. And you’re doing well why do you need other’s appreciation? Appreciate yourself. Furthermore, we’ve come to this universe alone, we will go alone and we will deal with our deeds alone hereafter. So why do you need a ‘Best friend’ to wipe your tears? And once Mr. Bruce Lee once said, “Loneliness is an opportunity to find yourself. In solitude, you are least alone.” Zizzy had a smile on her face after hearing all this and Addy asked her to maintain it. Addy quoted a beautiful quote to cheer her up, “When a dog barks at you, you don’t bark at that back”

Cheering each other up and building up each other’s confidence deepened their love. They both expressed their love for each other.

Many days passed which were spent together by Addy and Zizzy. Addy gave his strict orders to her to leave all that nonpious stuff she was involved in. She got more into study and in the religion due to her love. But as love is not whole without disagreements. They both had a conflict amongst themselves and this irritated Addy.

So to convince him, Zizzy hatched a daring plan. She approached Addy, her heart racing, and whispered, "Addy, I've been trying so hard to get your attention, but nothing seems to work. If you don't give me your autograph right now, I'll kiss you in front of everyone. He had no other option but to comply with her request. He handed her a piece of paper, and she insisted on signing not just the paper but also his shirt. With a mischievous glint in her eyes, Zizzy knelt before Addy, her hand gently tracing his chest. Her signature became an intricate dance of ink on fabric, a symbol of the connection they were forming. The crowd around them fell silent, and the world seemed to pause as their hearts beat in unison.

As she finished, Zizzy looked up at Addy with a playful smile, her gaze like that of a gazelle, both tender and enchanting. At that moment, Addy found himself spellbound, and he whispered, "You truly are one of a kind, my gazelle-eyed enchantress." The onlookers erupted in applause and cheers, but in that intimate exchange, Zizzy and Addy had created a unique bond, a love story that had begun with a daring promise and an autograph but had blossomed into a romance that would endure for a lifetime.

Unfortunately, Addy was too engaged in his study work that he couldn’t give enough time to Zizzy so she planned a badminton match with him as it was her favorite sport. The match went well, they enjoyed it a lot and they created cute moments.

Apart from this, there was an event in the school in which Addy participated and to spend more time with him Zizzy participated and they both were partners in hosting the event.

Well, they both had an adorable love story but this pure love had to end one day. So…

                                                                 To Be Continued…..